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Help. Two year old parent preference.

(4 Posts)
Dadda1 Tue 08-May-18 12:39:22

Hi Guys,

New here to the site and looking for some advice.

We have a two year old girl who since a very early age has been all for me and it’s getting to the point now where her mum is feeling really down about it.

For example if she wants a drink or food etc it’s nearly always Daddy do it and not mummy. If it’s putting her to bed or waking up with her in the morning she wants me to do it and if I’m not the one to walk into her room first thing in the morning she throw a a tantrum shouting out for me.

We have brought it on ourselves in a way. When our daughter was born my wife it wasn’t my wife’s first child and in her past relationship she done as good as everything with her boys so I thought with our daughter I’d take the weight off and I’d take over. Putting her to bed, waking up with her, feeding her, bathing her and nearly everything else I done most of the time but my wife was at home all day with the baby while I was working but as soon as she sees me in the evening mummy was pushed to the side and not given a second look by her.

Now he roles have reversed and I’ve decided to be a stay at home dad to give my wife the opportunity to go and work. I’ve worked for the past 20 years and she’s been at home with the kids so I thought it would be nice for her to experience working. Now because the bubba sees me more than mummy it’s making things worse because she wants me to do more and more with her and not mummy and it’s really starting to get her down. When she comes home from work the baby is happy to see her and gives her all the cuddles and cries when she’s leaving for work but after a very short period of time she’s back to me again.

Don’t get me wrong I love that she’s a daddies girl and feel good that I have been a good father to her but I’d really like some advice/tips from anyone who’s been in the same situation and how you managed to fix it, if you did.

Thanks all.

OP’s posts: |
PureColdWind Tue 08-May-18 21:25:21

I think its just normal - and in a few months you might no longer be her favourite. All mine loved there dad the best when they were small - then switched to being all about me - and now they like us both.

My DD is almost 2 and is all about her dad even though I am a SAHP at the moment. It doesn't bother me at all.

Pretamum Wed 09-May-18 10:24:51

We went through this with our son last year. He was a huge fan of his dad for months, and would only ever want dad to put him to bed, bath him, read stories etc... This definitely hurt me, and he would often get very upset if i bathed him instead of my OH. But then it changed, completely randomly and I became his favourite for a little while. It has gotten better, now he doesnt seem to pick favourites with us and describes us as his 2 best friends, which is really lovely after months of one of us being on the sidelines. Because my OH works away a fair bit, I think our son used to cling to him when he was home, but now he doesnt travel as much he's stopped having him as a favourite. I'm sure your little girl will get through this phase, it definitely hurts though so I feel for your wife, it's not easy. Maybe it's worth your wife and daughter having a day together of just the two of them doing something special?

Tallsahara Thu 10-May-18 11:37:13

I'm sure it's normal, nothing to be hurt or upset about.

My almost 3 year old ds is all his dad, I work part time so I'm home with him a fair bit, but when dh is home it's all about daddy.

On the other hand he plays daddy up a lot more than me so it's swings and roundabouts.

It's fine up to a point but just don't pander to it too much. If ds needs a drink but won't drink it because I made it, then tough luck I'm afraid.

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