This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Lonely daughter, aged 8(6 Posts)
I feel like I need to help my daughter to socialise but I have no idea how. I was a young mum and have no friends with kids her age. We've moved house 3 times in the last 3 years and are finally settled but are still waiting on a place at the local school so she is still attending one 4 miles away. She's too shy to just take herself off out and say hello to kids round here. She was a lone child for 7 years and got used to it but she's becoming quite lonely, she built up the courage a couple of weeks ago to play on the trampoline with the girl who lives next door (and her friend) but only because her dad introduced her and then she ended up having an accident as she didn't know how to get home. She had been helped to jump over the fence to get there and didn't want to fuss asking to go home so never said anything. When I got back from work 4 hours later she was still really upset, mortified as in her words "we was just about to make friends". She felt like she embarrassed herself as she's never had that happen before but I did my best to reassure her and spoke to the girl and her friend (both 12) and they told me they didn't think bad of her and she's welcome to play again. Their dad also brushed it off. I then saw in her school book that her personal goal is to 'play with more people'.
I feel so sorry for her, loads of my time is taken by her brother, he's just turning 10 months and is into everything I need eyes in the back of my head, he's teething too and doesnt sleep well so often we're both overtired. I'm stuck for joining clubs and stuff because since finishing maternity leave I have changed jobs so now work shifts around their dad, sometimes our family have to help out too and with school being so far I don't want to add to it.
I just want my girl to have a childhood she will remember and right now I don't feel I'm giving her what she needs. Any suggestions? Apologies for it being long and jumbled, never posted before! Tia x
It sounds like you’ve both got a lot to cope with. Have you spoken to her teacher? How does she get on at school with the other children?
She just needs a confidence boost.
Martial arts classes are great for bringing shy kids out their shells plus might make some friends. Though you work shifts sure someone will be happy to take her along.
Oh, my heart goes out to you, and her. One thing that came through loud and very clear was this; you are fully aware of the issue.If you weren't, her problem would be so much worse. I'd say, do what you can, when you can ( as you are doing) and grasp any opportunity that comes along ( as you are doing), and make sure that you give her the love and attention you can. As you clearly are doing.A loving, trusting, close relationship , which is what she has with you, will immunize her from the worst effects of this difficult time.
Could you take her to the local play parks on a nice sunny day (so lots of children) and she might socialise there? Just because she is shy doesn't mean other children will be, she doesn't need to be the one who always starts off the conversation, and she might meet someone who is goes to the school that she is moving to. And if she does find another child yo play with you could chat to the parent. Other ideas are the library, ours has monthly craft sessions and just in general a lot if children seem to go there to play, and obviously it's free. Maybe not every visit will be exciting but some will be and that will help build her confidence, also if she is used to the building and staff then that will make her less nervous if she does meet other children there.
Also make sure she gets to show off her little brother as in my experience 8yo children love babies and it's a great talking point.
Please login first.