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How do you discipline a one year old?(17 Posts)
My DD is almost 14 months and in the last week her behaviour has really gone downhill. In a nutshell, the main problem is throwing a hissy fit as soon as she doesn’t get exactly her own way eg I turn off the TV, I stop her from falling off the sofa, she doesn’t get to go on the little ride at the entrance to the supermarket. She screams and bellows and tries to scratch me. I try not to overindulge her so I’m confused why she’s suddenly coming across as spoilt. I’m also really confused how to discipline a toddler who doesn’t really understand anything or have the power of reasoning. She’s been scratching my face for a while and when I push her hands away or say “owch that hurts mummy” she just laughs anyway.
She is too young to "come across as spoilt", sounds as if maybe you are thinking of her as if she's an older tolddler. You don't have to give way to tantrums but one year olds are usually fairly easy to distract. Get her busy with something else before you turn the telly off, lift her off the sofa and swing her round, chat to her excitedly about something else (ooh we're off to find APPLES today!!!) as you swing past the supermarket entrance. Apart from that it's OK to ignore or don't react to her hissy fits, they're normal because she's just starting to discover the world doesn't always go the way she wants it to and of course that's going to make her cross. If she scratches you then say "ow" and put her down and ignore her for a minute (like a mini time out) wait for her to calm down and then move on. When she's a bit older you can do a proper time out and get her to say sorry.
You don't discipline her as she's just a baby with no sense.
I have a one year old and I mostly try to distract her when she gets like that. It works sometimes.
Definitely distraction is really the only thing I've found helps at this age. i also keep up a running commentary on what's going on - e.g. "I know you're cross because you don't want to go in the car seat and you would rather play but let's drive home for 5 minutes and then we can get out and run around all afternoon" etc etc. I look on it as showing him I understand why he is angry/upset even if he can't get what he wants (although he probably doesn't have a clue what I'm on about yet lol)
Useful to read as I've had similar problems
Just talk to her in a low and calm voice, because she is still so young and still need to know a lot of things. Patience is a must for us parents.
Try to understand her strop. Tell her what she did was not ok and then move on and distract.
A tantrum at the age 14 months is not naughtiness that she needs to be trained out of any more than your dh would need to train you out of bursting into tears if you get upset. And it's bound to happen more often than your bursting into tears because you understand a whole lot more about the world around you and why you can't always have what you want.
Just make sure she can't hurt anyone, by moving her away or if necessary holding onto her hands. As pp have said, distraction, running commentary, low voice.
My DD is 17 months old and she went through this phase a few months ago. It was exhausting as she had turned from a happy little girl to throwing a tantrum when she didn't get her own way all the time. It was like she was on the edge of a meltdown at all times and it didn't take much to set her off! I can happily report that the last few weeks she has gone back to being sweet and relatively calm again. So hopefully it will be the same for you. In the meantime just try and distract her. I think it all stems from frustration as it's like they suddenly realise they have no control over anything!
I'm sure this phase will be back again at some point!
Just distract and whatever you do, do not give in despite how many stares etc you get. You’re setting yourself up for harder work in the long run.
The one thing I punish for is hitting. DD is nearly 18 months and goes on the naughty step if she hits anyone. Only for 1 minute. And not for having a tantrum, that's pretty standard stuff.
Thanks for the advice. It sounds like I’ve kind of being doing the right thing anyway, for example when she had her hissy fit in the supermarket, I just carried on shopping and telling her what we were buying (which I always do anyway) I think I was getting concerned that if she’s tantrumming now, I’ve somehow managed to do something wrong already and made her spoilt or something so it’s reassuring that it’s standard stuff.
I’ll try naughty steps in future but I don’t think she will understand that just yet.
I think at 18 months she might but that four months makes a lot of difference at this age.
Also she loves the stairs; she’d Probably see it as a treat!!
I think you should see having tantrums as a very normal (and very annoying!) part of being a small child. Its not reflection on you or your baby. I'd be more surprised about a baby that never had tantrums.
My six year still gets very upset about things but he's at an age now where I can reason with him or give consequences. Its pointless with a small baby as they don't think things through and will instantly forget any attempt to punish them.
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