18m toddler really naughty! Getting out of control

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

My 18 month old is starting to get really naughty. I am finding it quite hard to control because at this stage, I can't really discipline him can I?? If I say no to him, he still does it (he knows what no means!), when he is finished with his food, instead of leaving it he throws it all over the room or squishes it and makes a mess and then kicks and screams when I snatch the plate off him and tell him no.

He throws a massive paddy when we go out because He wants to do something that we won't allow him to do (eat mud and soil for example), before he wouldn't mind but He does now! And he kicks and screams at me when I pick him up after we've been to the park because we're near a road or something so I have to hold him. He constantly whinges for no reason when I am trying to cook or wash up or keep the house tidy as he keeps on pulling at me all the time.
If I am making his breakfast, he can see I'm doing it but he screams at me and keeps crying until he has his meal! He isn't starving because he'd had a big dinner the day before plus he has milk as well. He has a big appetite and he is always fed until he is satisfied.

He has a LOT of attention from myself, ESPECIALLY from my DH as he is constantly holding him as he always cries for him (and me when my DH is at work) and he goes nursery so it's not because of that. I am actually getting embarrassed of him constantly having these tantrums! Whenever we go to my friends, her child is the same age and she's so calm and collected, while he just acts like a complete brat!

I love him so much, he's my baby! Of course I love him, but what do I do? It's making me want to not take him out which is horrible because it's not his fault He was such a good baby when he was younger but now it's like he's had a personality transplant!

[absolutelycrackers]

This is normal .
His not naughty

[GandTforme]

Babies this age have no impulse control, this is why he cannot understand why he has to wait for his food or to cross the road. He's not naughty, he just doesn't have any emotional regulation yet. It will come in time. No doubt your friends baby will reach this stage sooner rather than later, so don't compare them. It's hard for you i know, but it will get better.

[AddictiveCereal]

Completely normal and might even continue for a few years!

He is too young to respond properly to discpline - often distraction is more effective.

[widgetbeana]

I agree it is normal, but it is also worthwhile explaining things (not really expecting anything to come of it at this point). At some point he will start to understand and listen.

Also there will be some things that are non negotiable for safety reasons and try to have a consistent statement you say when you stop him doing these things. He will get used to that being a serious line. I'm not saying he won't push at that line and shout a lot, but again at some point he will stop pushing that line.