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2yo had a 2 hour tantrum - help me realise where I went wrong?

(9 Posts)
WhyTheHeckMe Sun 11-Mar-18 22:05:31

Ds was 2 in Jan. We've been lucky that he's a very chilled out happy little boy (although noticing very set in his ways, almost a little ocd).
Today for the first time ever he missed his nap (usually has 1-2 hours) so I know this is the cause of what happened tonight but I also know I dealt with it terribly.

Basically dinner time is usually 5.30 pm and bed at 7. At 5.20 he fell asleep on the sofa so I woke him up for his dinner after 2 mins. This was then the start of what was by far the worst night we've ever had. For 2 hours he was screaming like he was in pain. He was like a child possessed, crawling backwards around the house, trying to hurt himself on anything, trying to hurt me, he hit me across the face and pulled my hair, along with intentionally kicking me in the stomach (I'm due dc2 in 5 weeks). He refused to eat a thing, refused his bath. Didn't even attempt his teeth. Normally he'll go to bed with absolutely no issues but he wouldnt go in his room and when we put him in and shut the door (we were in there with him) he was physically fighting both of us to get out.
I ended up pinning him to his bed at 7.30 pm as by this point the it had been absolutely none stop for 2 hours and was actually past his bedtime even though he was clearly exhausted. I was at a total loss as to what else to do so I held his arms down for about 10 mins until he gave up the battle and fell asleep. I was crying at the same time telling him how he had made mummy so sad and ruined my mother's day

I can't get over how badly I handled it. This was our fault by planning our day badly meaning he didn't sleep but me and him never fall out and I never have to tell him off. If ever I do tell him not to do something I always do it in such a calm manner and explain things which works as he likes to know reasons.

What should I have done in this situation? I'm really beating myself up for crying in front of him and for pinning him down like I did. I honestly never wanted to behave like this :-(

WhyTheHeckMe Sun 11-Mar-18 22:06:41

To add - we tried to leave him on his own in hopes he'd just fall asleep even on the floor but he got even worse when we walked away.

Kleinzeit Mon 12-Mar-18 11:12:23

Och, try not to worry. We all have parenting disasters now and again. He was probably totally exhausted and irrational and it wouldn't have made much difference whatever you did. I'm glad that holding him still and safe worked in the end, and I'm sorry you had such a rotten end to Mothers Day. I hope the rest of the day was nicer? Kids can be very up and down so try not let that spoil your memory of the whole day.

Today is a new day and I hope it is going well for you both flowers flowers flowers

Kleinzeit Mon 12-Mar-18 11:20:30

PS Most of us would probably lose the plot after two hours of it so no need to beat yourself up.

Chocachoo Mon 12-Mar-18 12:45:25

Hi OP just want to say I'm sorry you're suffering, but you're not alone, and your post was very timely for me as DD age 2 had a similar unexpected tantrum yesterday that went on as long! Tried every trick in the book (and online) but she was having none of it. This is on top of a similar hum dinger she had in public a few days ago that really shocked us. Unlike what you say about your DS, my DD has always been 'strong willed' but is becoming increasingly defiant over the smallest things and since these 2 'extreme' episodes, I worry she'll become one of those moody children nobody likes, while we must look like clueless parents with no control (which is honestly not true!).
Anyway, just wanted to say you're not the only one who had a rubbish Mother's Day, and I'm sure you handled it as well as possible! X

MessyBun247 Tue 13-Mar-18 15:13:16

If I was knackered and had finally got to sleep, then someone woke me up after 2 minutes and told me I need to eat dinner and have a bath, I would be annoyed too! But being a parent is a learning process, you know what went wrong and you won’t do it again. Don’t beat yourself up. You were stressed and tired and drained. You sound like a lovely mum but no one is perfect. ITs a 24 hour 365 a year job and it’s impossible to be perfectly calm and composed all the time.

Your son was overtired and hysterical, and you did what you had to do to get him asleep. That is what he needed. Learn from it and try to move on flowers

fuzzyduck33 Tue 13-Mar-18 19:22:36

Oh we had nights like this when 2 year old dd was in the process of dropping her nap. My lovely well behaved little girl grows horns and a forked tail when over tired. I have memories of lying on my bed for an hour holding her to help her stay calm. It's a difficult phase but they do get past it.

WhyTheHeckMe Wed 14-Mar-18 21:49:20

Ah thanks so much for responding ladies I really appreciate it. Yes we've definitely learned from our mistake and I think we'll be terrified to ever try him with no nap till he's at school now!
It was a totally rubbish end to mothers day (and my 30th bday weekend also) however when he woke on Monday after his 14.5 hour sleep shock we didn't discuss it we just moved on and thankfully he's been a total pleasure again all week.

It was the guilt of physically pinning him down and crying to him that got to me the most as I am meant to be the grown up!

Thanks for not making me feel like a terrible person :-)

Kitchenbound Thu 15-Mar-18 09:01:17

Honestly who the hell wouldn't have cracked after 2 hours of that!!! You are not alone and do NOT beat yourself up - you didn't scream in his face or throw anything or smack him! You did what you had to do! My DD did the same when she was coming off naps and often fell asleep approximately 45 seconds before i got dinner on the table. I learned after the first couple times that if she fell asleep leave her be. And hey it might not be good that my DD went to bed without dinner but i figured waking her and stressing her was worse.

Btw the first time she had a tantrum like that DH and I tried to call her for over 2 hours before i broke down in hysterics myself. DH called my mum to come save him! Oh and well, ya know, put the baby to bed and stuff. Poor guy. I did learn to deal with it better but we all have our breaking point!

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