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Can't cope with six month old(13 Posts)
I'm new to mumsnet so I hope this thread is in the right place. I am on mat leave with my six month old LB and I'm just finding it harder and harder to cope. Everyone says babies get easier as they grow but I am finding the opposite and I am not dealing with it well. My LO has never been placid. Each new milestone he hits just makes him more frustrated that he can't do the next thing yet. He can roll but wants to crawl and can't. He can almost sit but not quite unaided. Nothing keeps him entertained for more than five minutes so he moans constantly all day no matter what I do. I used to think I could ride the phase but I wonder if I will ever feel any joy about him or if it will always be a case of pure endurance. It was better when he slept well. But now he fights his naps and doesn't sleep through the night anymore - sometimes waking once, sometimes multiple times (normally after 4am). I think that's largely due to teething, which he's going through badly right now. I am trying to ease it for him but he won't take teether or cloths or anything. Only teething powders, which don't work for him, and baby ibuprofen, which was OK but now isn't helping. So I am finding myself exhausted and just wanting to cry at facing another day of whinging followed by a night of broken sleep. I feel like total hell and am always ill because I'm so run down. My DH tries to help but due to his work shifts and commute he can't really give me regular breaks. He's also totally stressed by the moaning. I get an hour off now and again thanks to my parents. But they're understandably not keen to have a moaning baby all that often. While I am away a break helps but when I get home I just feel awful again and the whining and grind of all the baby tasks just feels like a dark tunnel closing in. It feels like he will be grumpy and teething forever, I just can't see the end. I love my little boy so much and I don't regret his existence. But I am regretting that I am his mum because I just want some kind of life and I am clearly not cut out for this. I would never hurt him but I am starting to find it hard to like being around him at all. I feel like I can only breathe when he's asleep or elsewhere
When I am with him I do my best to look after him but its going through the motions and I am feeling less and less joyful moments. I guess I am just wondering if anyone else is going through this, or has been through this and can say honestly if things ever improve? I want to be a great mum and enjoy my LO but I am scared at how long it may be before things get better and how I'll manage until then.
Could you talk to someone in real life about it all and get it off your chest. I went to a breastfeeding clinic at 3 weeks and burst into tears to a worker there who took me to a room where I cried for an hour and half about how I wasn’t coping, not about feeding, just everything. It was a turning point for me getting it off my chest. Is there something similar you could attend and see if there is a caring person there to offload to?
That might be a good idea. It's hard to talk to family because it seems like I don't love or appreciate my LO, when I really do. But maybe if I could speak to someone else it would help. Thank you, I'll see what's in my area. Maybe even HV although they're not always much use locally
I couldn’t have talked to those close to me about how I felt. I was irritated by how much everyone was cooing and doting on her, when it felt like I was the only one whose life had been turned upside down. The lady I spoke to was a nursery nurse so she wasn’t medical, but she was so understanding and wrote out a plan of action for me. It really did turn things around for me, hearing that I wasn’t unreasonable for being upset and fed up.
Kitty you poor thing I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My son is 12 months now but when he was younger I felt exactly the same as you. There are so many developmental leaps/milestones (the wonder weeks) throughout the first year that baby can get frustrated and seem more unsettled. I found the baby stage incredibly tough and the first 6 months were the worst. DS finally started sleeping better at 6.5 months (no two nights were the same mind you and it very much depended on if he was going through yet another development which of course throws everything off.)
I want to tell you it does get better I promise. A good way to find out if it’s teething is if baby is pulling on ears or chewing on everything. A good tip is to refrigerate baby’s pacifiers (works a treat). You can also refrigerate a clean wet wash cloth and let baby chew on it. I also applied alittle teething gel to pacifier once ds stopped letting me rub his gums. I didn’t find the powders/gels that effective but found baby bonjela was the best of a bad bunch and the parsons teething powders worked as a welcomed distraction . I must admit though I put a lot of ds’s behaviours down to teething and I now know a lot of it was down to growth spurts/developmental leaps.
The first year feels like an eternity when you’re stuck in the cycle but then before you know it you’ll be celebrating your little ones first birthday and think it had flown. Hopefully weaning is going well and will settled your little one. At the start they eat such a small amount that I didn’t notice a difference until a month or two after starting weaning and when ds was on 3 meals a day. The sleep deprivation is torture, make sure you sleep when ever you get chance to and don’t feel guilty about letting your partner or any willing babysitters give you a break. and lots of cake needed...
I just wanted to say that my baby is exactly the same and it started at about 5 and a half/ 6 months... as soon as she hit 9 months it was like a switch and she totally changed.
I know it seems like ages off when your going through it but trust me it’s all worth it!!
I think the 6-9 month stage is just majorly frustrating for them... weaning, teething, learning to sit/ crawl etc (My DD is still not crawling and I hope this helps the moaning more).
Just know it’s nothing your doing/ not doing and your doing a great job!!! Xx
Thank you so much everyone. It is good to know that others have found it hard. We're only human and its encouraging to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Some great tips I'll try out too. I do love my little guy and I want to help him, as he is definitely teething full on right now. It can't be nice for him
Hi I'm new to mums net although my kids are now alot older 9 and 12. I struggled with the early years but it does get easier.
I know my youngest was very angry as a baby but he has eczema and gets very agitated from that. Once he found his feet he was so much happier lost the grumpy attitude.
you are stronger than you realise. Hang in there it gets better. X
Thanks Rachyhayes. I have found a gym with a good creche in my area today. I think I may use that a couple of times a week, to keep him amused and get some headspace for an hour. Exercise has always helped me but has dropped off since I has LO.
I hated the stage when mine were around 4 to 6 months or so. God the whining, aaaargh!! It does get better, promise. Not easy but different and better.
My DD in particular has always been demanding, cried a lot and woken in the night. She’s now two and is so much more settled and is showing us her sweet, happy side. You will get through this and it will be worth it when you see your DS’s character shine through more and more.
Keep going and take breaks any way you can.
Jumperooh, thanks, that is great to hear. Love the username by the way (the jumperoo is my LOs current favourite activity). He's a lot better today as teething seems to have taken a break. So a little less whining! Poor chap, must be hard being a baby I suppose
Going through exactly the same at the moment. Did things improve? Can't help but feel I'm doing something seriously wrong. Also can't help but compare myself to other mummy friends ☹️