9 yo nephew stealing

[dancingqueen345]

Hi all

Just after a bit of advice as a non parent but a very devoted auntie.

My nephew has been caught stealing, I don't want to give too many details as could be outing but it was done in a quite a deceitful way (I realise any stealing is deceitful, but it wasn't like he was out with some friends and peer pressured or anything), and without any real need (what he stole he already had!).

He's having a very difficult time at the moment, his dad (my brother) went to prison last year and although my DB and DN's Mum aren't together I think the impact of him being out of his life is really starting to show.

For various reasons my DN can't go and visit my DB but they are able to write letters.

Has anyone had any experience with a child this age stealing and any ideas about how to talk to him about it? His mum has tried asking why he did it but he won't talk about it at all.

[dancingqueen345]

Hopeful bumping..

[jaimelannistersgoldenhand]

Did his Dad go to prison for stealing?
Did he steal something important to someone (like sister's favourite toy) or was it something more neutral (like chocolate from the cupboard)?
Is it possible that he doesn't know why he did it? My son was 11 when his Dad left and he started stealing money from me. His Dad had an affair and left for OW so I assumed that he wanted to scream at Dad but it was easier to punish me. He's 16 now and has never explained why because he's not the type of person who's good at explaining and understanding feelings.
Has he suffered a dramatic fall in attention due to his parents breaking up and his Dad going to prison? A boy in my son's class had a Dad go to prison and his Dad's name was published in the local paper. Is this the case with DN?

It sounds like he needs a lot of TLC at the moment.

[dancingqueen345]

Thanks for your reply @jaimelannistersgoldenhand - it was a toy from a supermarket that he stole, and no, DB not in prison for stealing. I think you're right though that he is looking for attention.

My biggest worry is that he's looking for attention by doing something criminal because of the situation with DB, rather than another outlet for his anger, if that makes any sense!

But yes, will be trying to spend more time with him to make sure he knows how loved he is.

[jaimelannistersgoldenhand]

Is he sorry for what he did? Do you think he thought that stealing would land him in jail so he could see his Dad?

[dancingqueen345]

No, no remorse at all. It's breaking my heart, he is a lovely kid.

I hadn't even considered he might have thought that, that's a very sensible suggestion though. I might try and raise that with him. Thanks again.