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3 year old anxious in group activities(3 Posts)
I posted on here a few weeks ago after an upsetting parents meeting about my 3.9 month old son. One if the main issues they raised was that he was the only child out of 30 who had not made any friends and did not seem to want to talk to the other children. They did not imply he had Asperger of autism and my husband is a psychologist and backs that up. They did say he can be quite stubborn and struggles to concentrate. Anyway, I have since been watching him like a hawk and trying to enable social situations for him. He is perfectly able to interact with another child in the park or swimming pool but seems to find organised group activities very stressful. In fact any social event which puts expectations on him. For example a play date at someone's house whom he doesn't know well will make him very shy and I took him to a group dance lesson for a trial as he loves to dance and he couldn't handle it at all and started shouting at me saying he didn't like it. When his fave song came on he did go and have a bit of dance but I could tell he found it v stressful and was quite uptight. I think in terms of school he finds the socialising aspect hard work and would rather play on his own or talk to the adults. He has excellent language for his age and does have a couple of good friends outside school who he feels confident with and hits the ground running.
My question is, does anyone have any experience with a child like this? It breaks my heart because I know he would enjoy these group activities but is too anxious to join in. How can I help build his confidence? Is it normal for a child to act like this. He seems to enjoy nursery to a certain degree but he is missing out on social interaction at the mo.
Are there any activities that you’ve been going for a while or are all of the groups and play dates he’s doing with fairly new people?
We have tried various groups such as swimming and football but he really doesn't enjoy them, I think on top of being shy he also doesn't like organised activities! With football he wouldn't join in the games and pretended to be a puppy and swimming he messed around to the point where the teacher got quite annoyed - he now does individual swimming lessons. In terms of play dates, he can play very well with other children he knows well and really looks forward to seeing them. The kids he gets on best with also like playing imaginary games, the Baby Pterodactyl Game is a current favourite. His nursery have reported that he doesn't play with other children and I can see that he finds it hard to make friends but I would have thought seeing them every day he would be over his shyness?
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