Fed up with negative boy comments

(6 Posts)
liney80 Mon 19-Feb-18 11:05:23

I need a rant! And hopefully some support. I’ve got two boys (age 3 and 1) and love them to bits. BUT I did really want a girl second time round so I’m a bit sensitive to gender comments. Several times a week (no lie) I get negative comments about having two boys: how much hard work they are; they don’t stay close; they’re physical/boisterous etc etc An older lady actually said to me “two boys was my worst nightmare but I’m lucky I got two girls.” Yes, seriously!

I’ve worked on my own issues and am happy with my family but these comments make me so upset and angry.

Do other mums of boys get these comments? Do you mums of girls get other comments? Do you mums of boys that are older feel close to your sons? My fears keep creeping back that they will be hard work while they’re young and then leave me when they’re older!!

OP’s posts: |
jaimelannistersgoldenhand Mon 19-Feb-18 12:31:44

You can't win.

I have both sexes and had comments like it's a shame that my dd hasn't got a sister.

I have an odd number of kids and have been asked whether #3 was an accident (as apparently people plan even number of children)

I've heard that girls are harder than boys as they are full of drama. I've heard boys are harder than girls as they are physical. My dd isn't a drama queen and my boys have never been in a proper physical fight.

For every boy who's distant for their mum, there's another who's a mummy's boy.

For every boy who's not a big chatter, there's another who will happily sit down and chat to mum for an hour.

liney80 Mon 19-Feb-18 13:03:10

Thank you, those are wise and kind words. They are people, not genders. I will enjoy them as the individuals they are and (try very hard to) ignore stupid generic comments that don’t apply to the people I’m raising!!!

OP’s posts: |
Witchend Mon 19-Feb-18 14:24:46

I've two girls and a boy. I've had far more "girls are bitchy" "wait until your girls are hormonal teens" than negative comments about boys.

Nameme17 Mon 19-Feb-18 15:25:15

I have 2boys too. I never had any 'ideal' family in my mind and was actually incredibly excited I was getting another boy (he looks exactly like me! Haha so weird). But I get what you mean about ppl comments...o you've got to try for a girl and when I say actually selfishly Id want another boy they look at me like I'm deranged! To be honest saying all I want is a healthy child and that's all I can ask for falls on deaf ears. My PIL were the worst...o not another boy/let's hope it's not another boy/we can't be having another boy! Thank God we are NC with them now! Remember being hospitalised with heavy bleeding at 20wks in utter pain and first comment they made was did you find out the sex?!...f##k off. I'm a girly girl too so ppl EXPECT me to want a girl...wtf!? It's not my decision! Fucking biology dictates you utter nutters!

TheSconeOfStone Mon 19-Feb-18 23:19:00

I have had lots of negative comments about having two girls. I would have loved a boy but we were done at 2 children. Loads of 'better luck next time' and sympathy for my husband who was far less bothered than me anyway. Mums of boys are so proud of themselves and go on how amazing their sons are, and how sad for me I will never experience that.

Now mine are 7 and 10 and I can't imagine having a boy, my two are so totally different to each other I don't feel I have two the same. Friends with boy/girl combinations all say their boys are much easier.

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