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3 year old behaviour at nursery

(3 Posts)
Wheelsonthebus123 Wed 14-Feb-18 14:54:47

About once a week (on average) there will be some kind of "incident" at preschool where DS has hit/pushed/pulled the hair of another child. I am struggling with the best way to respond in order to try and reduce this. The staff always ask me to discuss behaviour with him at home but he obvously enjoys the attention his poor behaviour generates so am conflicted as to the best approach. The days when this happens I will greet him as usual and before I've had time to speak to the staff he will immediately trot out with something along the lines of "Earlier I hit/pushed/kicked <firstname> <surname>. That wasn't very good was it? I did it because I wanted the <insert name of toy> and that the reason why I did it." Talking about it afterwards just seems give attention to the behaviour (which he likes) and he appears utterley unbothered by any punishment we try and implement. We give lots of attention at home and play with him/read to him etc. and he's generally fine when he's getting to choose the type of play he does but getting him to do simple tasks like getting dressed, putting his own coat on etc. is a daily battle. Preschool have made a big effort recently to try and get him to put his coat/hat/gloves on at the same time as the other children so he can go outside on time (which he loves) but he just doesn't seem to be getting any better at this! It's obviously so much easier to do it for him but I'm trying really hard to persist with insisting he does it himself, but frequently question whether it is worth it!

Dickorydockwhatthe Wed 14-Feb-18 18:38:38

There is always a reason behind a child's behaviour. What strategies are the nursery putting in place??? What are their methods of teaching children to share. Some nurseries use a timer or wait buttons. He obviously knows his behaviour is wrong and shows understanding of what he has done. If it's attention then you need to focus on the good behaviour more then the bad praising every little thing maybe having an reward chart. At home lots of turn taking games and praise for good waiting and sharing. I think you need to talk to nursery to see if they are recording his behaviour I.e what happened before, during and after. Is it at the end of day/week when he is more tired etc. Identifying triggers is key and having a consistent approach to deal with it is ith you and nursery working on the same page.

Dickorydockwhatthe Wed 14-Feb-18 18:41:44

Ps ith the coat there are ways of teaching children to put them on. Sometimes putting the hood on first like batman and then teaching him to put one arm in first, next time two just breaking it down, sometimes nurserys expect too much and maybe he is rebelling and feeling under pressure. Encourage and praise for effort.

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