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Cant cope with my 2nd baby

(21 Posts)
Alwaystired4 Sat 10-Feb-18 05:24:05

Ive been to my gp a million times. Been referred to a pediatrician and even been crying to a health visitor at a drop in clinic.
My daughter is 5 months old and never sleeps and is completely miserable 24 hours a day. She has reflux and colic.
She doesnt nap at all during the day and is up most of the night. It's all getting worse the older she gets.
She cries ALL day and goes ballistic if put down.
I never get washed or dressed. I haven't slept since the day i bought her home.
There's no family at all to help.
(My husband helps but we also have a 2 yr old)
Ive literally been told by the pediatrician and health visitor to just suck it up and wait for her to grow out of it.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. My neighbours must think im leaving her to cry or something awful because she just cries all day long.
I am so shattered and so drained. I feel im stuck in a horrific ground hog day that i cant escape.
She is on ranitidine (which seems to do nothing) and a prescription formula which has helped her stop screaming at night
Please someone tell me that they've been through this and that it will get better sad

alittlehelp Sat 10-Feb-18 13:46:39

So sorry you are having such a tough time. My 7 month old used to cry whenever put down and was a dreadful sleeper. Now he can sit he's much happier playing with toys for a few mins. I put him in a sling a lot and he'll go in the jumperoo for a bit (especially if I stick cbeebies on!). He is also starting to sleep for longer stretches. I think solids have helped. I hope things start getting easier for you too. Xx

Lovelymonkeyninetynine Sat 10-Feb-18 19:40:20

I have been there and an sending you an enormous hug. I couldn’t see past the grey fog, I remember it so well. Dealing with a toddler and a baby is by hands down my most challenging part of parenting. Adding colic and reflux to the mix nearly broke me.
So first remember that you need to cut your self a ton of slack.
Take every shortcut you can afford. Don’t worry too much about messy house or not getting a shower, I know it’s depressing but it’s not for long. Have you tried baby on a hypo milk like neocate?

Lovelymonkeyninetynine Sat 10-Feb-18 19:42:39

Oh and also try to remember baby will be fine. Added to that awful time was me feeling so guilty that all the crying was damaging my dd and that I was a shit mum to older dc. She’s now a sunny happy little girl.

irishmissie Sat 10-Feb-18 19:42:45

Bless you and your doctors should be ashamed simply sending you away. My eldest had croup and colic and I was awake every day and night like you. He used to hold his wind in to the point he would bring it up and make a sound that would wake the dead and terrify anyone near him. May I ask what milk is he having? Also I used to lie my son on his belly on my arm to bring up his wind and bring his legs in an out while on my knee, also I got doctor brown bottles which are for babies with colic. Regarding the sleep i put a hot water bottle in his cot half hour before bed he fell asleep in my arms and then I laid him in cot, so the shock is gone as it's going from warm to warm. Also you need family to help, let nana and grandad have him so you can sleep, I wasn't blessed with that I was on my own, let me know if you need anymore help

Ityoj Sat 10-Feb-18 23:46:35

Could the baby be in pain?
My son was always like this and I'm sure he was in pain from the awful delivery he had. I never realised it then but looking back it was obvious. His milk never suited him at all and I should have changed it but never did.
I know it's hard. I'm still in the same boat as you and it's 3 years in! Sadly I've just let myself 'go' in order to survive day to day.
It I could turn back the clock I wish I looked into the milk alittle more. Could the baby be intolerant? If you are bf maybe look into what you are eating that could be upsetting the baby?

Alwaystired4 Sun 11-Feb-18 04:45:22

There is no nan or grandad or any family anywhere to help its just me and my husband. Shes on a milk called nutramigen.
My gp has just recently graduated its their first job there doesn't seem to be any point in going to see them again and if i ask for a pediatrician again it'll be the same person i saw last time (same surgery).
I want to go to A n E im so exhausted and dont know where else to find anyone medical but I'm scared they'll just send me away. Im so tired i cant stand up properly.
My neighbours upstairs complained that they hear her crying all the time.
Thank you so much for all your replies i just don't know where else to turn.
I've tried to give her baby rice but she just screams

Mosaic123 Sun 11-Feb-18 19:01:39

Can you afford to see a private paediatrician? Or ask the Dr to refer you to one.

Rebeccaslicker Sun 11-Feb-18 19:36:39

You poor thing, that sounds exhausting.

Just to say that my best friend was the same when her second was that age. She rang me in tears saying she really couldn't cope for another minute; she was exhausted.

By about 9 months the baby had grown out of it and she's now the cutest, smartest 7 year old in the world.

I know it doesn't help much to say it will pass in a few months when every minute feels like a year. I just wanted to say lots of people have been there too and it will be fine.

In the short term, what about hiring a mother's help or a sitter just for a few hours so you can sleep? Sitters.co.uk is excellent flowers

Lovelymonkeyninetynine Tue 13-Feb-18 22:01:44

How are you doing op? Have you had any more advice from the dr? I am thinking of you often.

maddy236 Wed 14-Feb-18 13:31:26

Hi OP, that sounds so tough. If on Nutramigen, does your baby have CMPA? (Which often causes reflux and colic). If so, there is a very good Facebook support group, where you can post and parents can tell you which hypoallergenic milks work best etc. I hope you get the help you need soon x

Rumpleteezer Wed 14-Feb-18 21:47:39

You poor thing sad I can sympathise, my second DD had severe reflux and suspected CMPA, she cried literally all the time and only ever slept for 20 minute intervals. I wanted to die, I just couldn't cope any more. Please go back to your GP and see if you can get a referral to a paediatrician. I bought a book called the baby sleep sensation by Alison scott wright which had a very useful section on reflux (if this is indeed what your LO has). We took her advice of neocate formula, omeprazole and tummy sleeping, plus she was in the sling all day, and she was transformed into a 12 hour sleeper. May be worth a shot. Just remember you are doing an amazing job! X

TryingtobePrepared Thu 15-Feb-18 21:35:19

Haven't read all the other posts but infant gaviscon saved our lives, as did letting dd1 sleep in her car seat sometimes. But really we started weaning at 6 months and she was like a new child, we did baby led so the food was properly solid which I think helped. Hang in there I think it's the toughest thing ever having a baby that screams all the time but it does passflowers

PasstheStarmix Fri 16-Feb-18 12:12:05

I’ve been through this with ds, colic and reflux and the whole not sleeping and screaming house down all day. I literally used to sit and ball my eyes out everyday with him; it was incredibly soul destroying. Then suddenly at 6.5 months things suddenly started to improve and ds began to sleep better. I can completely sympathise but ds is my first and I found that hard enough so can’t imagine having a second as well on top of it. I hope this phase passes ASAP for you flowers

PasstheStarmix Fri 16-Feb-18 12:14:48

Oh also regarding the reflux, gaviscon did nothing, ranitidine helped alittle but you do have to increase the dose as baby gains weight and it has to be chucked out after being open for 3 months but I find it loses its effect after one.) Omeprazole would be an option if ranitidine isn’t working. Ask your gp.

PasstheStarmix Fri 16-Feb-18 12:17:59

Also I agree with a pp weaning helped ds too; that and changing to formula. I exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months and couldn’t keep up with ds. I wish I’d given up sooner to be honest as it did both of us no good.

LondonStill83 Fri 16-Feb-18 12:22:07

Op, I have been there. It is awful.

Where are you based? Maybe a mumsnetter would help? I am in SE London and happy to help tomorrow and Sunday?

For us, nutramigen didn't work, DS needed neocate. We also raised the head of his cot, kept him upright for at least an hour after feeding, and pretty much moved him into the Close Caboo sling permanently. Ranitidine didn't help but I heard good things about omeprazole.

Brittanyspears Fri 16-Feb-18 12:45:52

Sounds very familiar to me. Gaviscon helped a bit for us, ranitadine did nothing. Only time and sleep training (when older) helped.
You are doing all you can, sod the neighbours!

PasstheStarmix Fri 16-Feb-18 13:32:34

Gaviscon also did nothing for the acid then caused constipation (a whole new issue) we had to keep ds on it for two weeks before doctor would let us try something else. They generally just give Gaviscon at start and then ranitidine if that doesn’t work and then move on to omeprazole etc. I guess they have to try the least strong option first.

PasstheStarmix Fri 16-Feb-18 13:33:35

also we tilted ds’s Crib and this improved his sleep.

HJBeans Fri 16-Feb-18 19:22:14

My best friend's son was like this. Her HV told her it couldn't possibly be as bad as she was describing it, so she timed him and he cried for something like 17 out of 24 hours. The only thing that gave her any break from the crying was wearing him in a sling almost all the time. Hope it gets better for you soon. flowers

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