16 mo DS pushing smaller babies...(3 Posts)
I might be overreacting... I hope I am, and this is nothing...but would love some advice.
DS is 16mo, almost 17 mo, and attends a very nice nursery 4 days a week, 8.45-5.15. He's in a room with around 8 other babies 0-18mo, at a ratio of 1-3 (as usual for the age group)
I'll be honest - he hated it for the first few months ,but I'm a LP and had to go to work, so needs must. I did what I could to help with the transition - a month of settling, kept co-sleeping, continued breastfeeding, kept everything else the same... but he didn't really settle until after Christmas. Now he LOVES it, and is genuinely happy there - I know this kid, and I know he's happy.
Since he 'settled', he's started to be a little OTT with some of the other babies - and tonight his key worker told me he'd spent the entire afternoon, pushing over other babies, actually hurting two of them, then running away laughing. It started a few weeks ago as 'loving' and 'cuddling' that was a little over-enthusiastic, but they say it's now just outright shoving for fun.
He is a baby still, and I don't think he's old enough for sanctions (nor do the nursery). But he cannot continue to do this. Today two babies were bruised when he pushed them into toys/ furniture.
At home, it's just me and him. We don't do 'rough play' (sometimes we tumble on the floor, but no pushing), and I reinforce gentleness and kindness as much as I possibly can. He's never witnessed violence or aggression - his dad and I are great friends and he does very well as a father, in spite of the 350 mile distance. We also spend time with animals, and reinforce gentleness there too.
Although DS is much loved, and I can't stand imposing arbitrary rules, so perhaps he does have a little more leeway than some toddlers. But he is told 'no' when he might hurt himself or others with his behaviour, or when he's being deliberately destructive. He gets lots of attention at home - and I daresay at nursery where staff confess he is a bit of a pet, because he's very funny and very loving ( not that I think playing favourites is a good thing - and they wouldn't say he was!).
I just don't understand it, nor how I can possibly tackle it at home, when it never, ever comes up? He's too little to understand vague conversations about things he's done or might do in future... I have thought about buying a large dolly and modelling good behaviour on that.
Does anyone have any thoughts or tips? And should I 'read' anything into this behaviour?
I am the not so proud owner of a 16m old nose hitter. He’ll spy a baby from across the room and make an unstoppable, surprisingly fast, bee line for them.
He won’t be turned around or distracted. He likes smaller babies but isn’t against hitting the nose of slightly bigger older shildren too. He’s very fair that way.
I’m a SAHP so have personally seen him really ramp up his campaign over the last two weeks. It’s so embarrassing, I apologise and helicopter a lot.
I remember this phase with my eldest, he was a head patter. He just grew out of it in the end. I used to repeat ‘gentle hands’ and model something nicer, now I just say ‘no’! It makes no difference as far as I can see.
I’m sure someone will come along with better ideas.
Your nursery must has seen this behaviour before, it’s very very common, what do they suggest? Obviously you can’t helicopter him, so surely they should be keeping a closer eye until it passes?
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