Normal for 2.5 year old to have no friends at nursery?

(4 Posts)
Pansy0926 Sun 28-Jan-18 22:14:05

My little boy has been at nursery for nearly a year. He is in a class of about 7 kids, but usually only 4 or 5 turn up to each session.

There’s some kids he likes more than others, one he dislikes, and a couple he talks about constantly at home. One thing they all have in common though is that they all seem indifferent to him, except for one rather bossy girl who does seem to actively dislike him.

Is it normal that he doesn’t have a special little friend? He plays with the kids, but he is closer to his teachers. Maybe this is normal for an only child? It just sucks because he rants and raves about these kids at home, but I see none of the enthusiasm returned. Often they don’t say bye bye to him when he says bye as he leaves nursery. It’s not wilful meanness, it’s just they aren’t interested.

I’m not stupid, I know he has been a little pushy. He gets into kids faces occasionally when he talks, there was an incident where he chased three of the girls with a toy crocodile yelling snap snap, and he pushed a kid too.. I was immediately concerned when the teachers told me, but they are quite honest about these things and said it’s perfectly normal for a two year old to be learning about social boundaries at this age, and that other kids in the class are the same.

I swear I’m not just being a blind parent when I say this, but my son is a good kid. Any time he has been mean, he has been given a talking to, but it’s clear to us and our teachers that he is just learning, not a bad kid. I should probably add that before he started nursery this year he had next to no interaction with kids his age, so it’s possible he is socially slower than the other kids in his class.

To be honest, I’m not 100% sure the other kids have close friendships with each other, but they do play together much better. Is it because the kids are all so young? They are all aged 2-3. Is it unusual that he hasn’t made any close friends?

OP’s posts: |
Gordonbennit Mon 29-Jan-18 00:11:56

Try not to worry quite so much about it flowers

My 3yr old ignores most of his friends even when they say hello to him he just looks at them like he doesn't know who they are!! He also ignores the teacher who opens the door to let them in, walks past her like she is not even there. He sometimes says goodbye but not very often. I have told him endless times to be polite and speak to them etc but he just doesn't, even if I try to force him he just hides behind me.

They Are still learning how to act and behave towards each other at that age. We expect them to understand all the social expectations we have but they are skills we all learnt over time.

My other son will speak to anyone though even strangers in the street he cheerily says good morning to!

He will buddy up with someone when he is ready. You know he is a good kid so I wouldn't worry too much.

yeeyeelovesraaraa Mon 29-Jan-18 06:37:43

totally normal for children to play alongside each other at this age. More likely to be 3-4 or even 5 when proper friendships emerge.

User24689 Tue 30-Jan-18 12:38:11

Could have written this about my 2.5 year old DD, OP. Although in the last couple of weeks when I have turned up to nursery she has had a couple of little friends actually playing with her. Her language has had a massive leap this last month, and I think it has helped as she can communicate with them a lot better (she is one of the youngest).

She also ignores the daycare workers every morning, although I notice she is much more animates on pickup so I wondered if it was a bit of anxiety in her case.

I am part of a mums group of 5 of us. She has known the other 4 kids since she was born, they were all born within weeks of each other and we have met pretty much every week since. She still looks at those kids like she doesn't know them sometimes! I'm hoping it's a developmental thing but I do notice the others are much more 'connected' with each other so I suspect it's just who she is.

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