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6yo boy never listens or cares

(3 Posts)
Underhiseye2 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:01:23

I’m at the end of my tether with my son.

Last night he had a poo and didnt wipe his bum. This happens all the time. He doesn’t even flush most of the time, let alone wash his hands. I told him off last night and said I don’t expect him to not wipe/flush/wash again, you are nearly 7 and you should be able to do this. Also that other people don’t want to walk into the toilet and see someone else’s poo. It’s not polite.

Got up this morning and he has done a poo and no wiping/flush/hand wash. I don’t know how to get through to him and I’m at a loss.

He is also a nightmare at bedtime. He gets lots of positive attention, we read together, he has an hours wind down before bed in dimly lit bedroom, reading or doing maths which he enjoys. Then toilet, back to bed, kisses, remind him to close his eyes and think about what he wants to dream about and off I go. He gets up. Plays with toys. Gets his touch out and may start reading again. He will happily stay up til 9:30 but then he is tired for school. I want him to be asleep at a reasonable hour. I need to do my jobs on an evening and not Constantly up and down to him. I’m exhausted. It’s even worse when his dad puts him to bed, he messes about even more and I end up shouting at him or taking his cuddly away. Basically mopping up my husbands bedtime turn.

Another thing he does is he is rude. He shouted at me after school (he was tired and hungry) and in front of the other parents. Just shouting and having a mini tantrum. So we left. So then he doesn’t get the opportunity to play with his friends and I feel he misses out on building friendship.

His main friend at school is disruptive rather than one of the nice calm boys. Why can’t my child be calm and nice. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong or how to fix it. I have one other younger boy who is a dream. Be gentle please, I’ve nc for this buy really need some advice.

Vibe2018 Sat 13-Jan-18 17:37:22

He sounds quite normal to me. I have a 6 year old - they are still only little and are learning. Some have stronger personalities than others. Have you tried reward charts if he remembers about the bathroom and if he goes to bed ok?

Jellycatspyjamas Sun 14-Jan-18 07:54:40

That all sounds very normal to me, my DD struggles with toilet routines and bedtime routines. I suspect it's a developmental thing so telling off isn't going to sort it.

I constantly remind her to wash hands, flush toilet and give her lots of praise when she remembers.

Bedtime here can descend into chaos if I'm not on top of things, things that help are reminding her that X exciting thing is happening and she needs to be awake enough to enjoy it. We also really physically tire her out so she feels the need to rest. At times we've had to abandon plans to do something fun because she's just too tired to do it - either falling asleep or unable to manage her mood - so I'll remind her of that and remind her that she needs sleep.

If she turns her light on I'll turn it off, I'll explain once that it's bedtime and after that I'll turn the light off and put toys away if she's brought them out. She also knows that I check on them while they're sleeping so she knows I'll pop my head round the door at random times. I tend to keep upstairs jobs for bedtime, so will clean the bathrooms, tidy up my bedroom, do ironing etc so I'm close at hand.

It's hard work but I don't think my DD was meant to be quiet and calm. I love her spirit although it makes parenting so very tiring at times, I feel your pain.

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