3 year old girl behaviour

[dstar]

hi

I am new to mumsnet but am at my wits end and feel quite unsure what to do next. My daughter is nearly 3 but is very bright and her development, i have been told is well above her age. The problems only occur with me and not so much with her dad. He does support me but I feel on my own on this one. I am 7 months pregnant and my daughter is being an absolute nightmare. She refuses to do what I ask and when she cannot get her own way starts balling and crying constantly. if i tell her off, she starts crying saying that she does not like to be told off ( join the club!)

Rationally thinking, i know it is 'just a phase' but how do I manage this phase. Any ideas?? I have just brought a reward chart and thought that that might help but i don't know which way to turn next. The worry of another baby might be triggering her behaviour but I want this to be a postive time for her not one where I am constantly battling with her. Help!!!

[fryalot]

oh you poor thing, I have every sympathy. My dd2 is about the same age and I have the same thing with her, without the added complication of being pg.

My advice would be ignore the bad behaviour. Make it clear that you are ignoring her, and when she is pulling at your arms to make you notice her, just tell her that you do not recognise such naughty behaviour, and you will talk to her when she is being good.

Obviously, then make a big fuss of her when she is being well behaved, even if she is only good for a minute!

As far as the new baby is concerned, can you get her involved with getting things ready for him/her? washing clothes and buying new things? It may help.

btw: welcome to mn

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

She's testing the boundaries I think and realising that she has a brain and can reason with herself therefore when you tell her something she is now equipped to question why she has to do it and to throw a wobbly when it doesn't go her way. Mine is exactly the same. At the moment it's a constant battle of wills with her but I will win. I refuse to be beaten down by a wilful 3 year old. Repeat this mantra 3 times, turn round and smile. Good luck

[Eleusis]

Yes, I remember when dd was a raging terrible twoer and I couldn't wait for her to turn 3. Then,I found out about the horrendous threes... I was scammed I tell ya.

She's 4 now and a bit better. Looking forward to five.

What am I going to do when she is a teenager??? Oh, I know. Boarding school.

[dstar]

Thanks for quick reponse - it is a big help. I definately feel conned that there are just the terrible two's mine seems to have fits and starts since about 17 months!

Teenage year will be a doddle!!

[nailpolish]

i have a 4 yr old like this

i would not worry in any way that this has anything to do with you being pg, your dd would probably be like this whether you were pg or not, its quite normal 3 yr old behaviour im afraid

a reward chart is a good place to start. pasta jars, stickers, etc etc

time out is good for you AND her. in her room if necessary, for a few minutes, then you will both be calm to talk about

with my 4 yr old i believe a lot of her bad behaviour is through boredom. its hard to occupy them every minute of the day but i feel at least i know what is wrong and its not because she is naughty, really

when your baby comes along get her involved as much as possible, make sure she knows hwere the nappies/vests/bibs are kept, that seems to be a favourite job!

and get her a baby doll so she can play mummy and feed/wash/change her doll just like you

hth and good luck with your pg

[fryalot]

I have one of those as well (teenager that is) and don't you believe it'll be a doddle!

Am going to take Eluesis's advice and send dd2 and ds to boarding school between the ages of 11 and 26.

[Eleusis]

26? Are they going to be doctors or just a bit slow?

[fryalot]

just want to make sure that they are well past the teenager stage