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Help with partners 12 yr old son and behaviour(5 Posts)
I hope you can help me. I have been living with my partner now for just over a year. She has 4 children (eldest son 21, daughter 18, son 16 and youngest son 12). The eldest son and daughter are both at uni but home for xmas for the past 2 weeks.
I first noticed a change in her youngest sons behaviour a few months ago as he all of a sudden became very klingy and needy. He is always attaching himself to her even when we are seated on the sofa, trying to kiss her, asking how much she loves him, I'm so bored... etc. This has been going on now each day for the past few months and to be honest I am at my whits end with it. I am finding it very awkward and sickly, so much so I have to get out the house and away from it. To me he is acting more like a 5/6 yr old.
He has books, ipad and play station to play on which he use some times.
I do try and talk to him and ask him to stop and give us a break, help him with anything he asks, taken him to pictures, brought dominoes pizza but annoyingly he will not stop it. His mother also tries to put up with it as much as she can but asks him to stop it but he doesn't.
The past few weeks of xmas have been hell. He has only been out of the house once. We have hoped and suggested that he might go visit his grand parents or friends but does not.
Can any one help suggest what to do?
He's either feeling unloved, or jealous of her relationship or both. It's kind of natural to be honest. You are not his Dad. Keep going with the treats for him and let him know you like him, try and be friendly and v in his side. He will back off as he gets older.
What Mosaic said. Also, are you sure you know what is normal and what is sickly in the relationship between a 12yo and his mother? This is an age where they typically swing between fierce independence and intense need to reassure themselves that they don't have to be grown-up all at once. Normal and natural and a good parent allows for that.
Are you sure you are not jealous?
I completely disagree with the above sorry but from what's been explained I do not think its normal at all for a 12 year old to be like that. If you and your partner are on the same page, then you need to sit down and talk to him don't make him feeler ganged up on but just explain.
What happened a few months ago?
Could he be being bullied? Problem with another adult?
He didn't just change, look for the trigger.
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