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Please help, toddler hitting in daycare and unhappy.

(5 Posts)
sureitsgrand Wed 06-Dec-17 00:36:14

I'm at my wits end. I'm 8 mths pregnant. DH and I had a bit of a rough patch. I have always suspected DH has undiagnosed adhd and can be hard work.

Ds is almost 3. He's a lovely, funny, bright and energetic boy.

He can be a bit grumpy if he doesn't get his own way, shouts etc. But doesn't have major meltdowns and can usually be distracted.

He attends day care 2 days per week. For the last month it has been 3 days. He used to hit out at other kids but had stopped. In the last month he's scratched, hit and bit other kids. The creche have been doing reward stickers for good days etc. But today they called me in, he was hysterical crying saying I'm a good boy. He had hit someone again. And staff then informed me he won't sit still, doesn't join in, doesn't listen if asked not to do something. And has been cheeky to other parents who are collecting their kids even calling them silly names.

The staff have been trying to manage each little thing but it's built up quickly apparently and they think he should cut back his hours as he's not coping.

I agree and will go straight back to two days. But I'm devastated. I feel he's suddenly become 'that child'.

Is this just typical toddler stuff? Or signs of adhd? Or a reaction to us arguing and sniping at home (hasten to add no one hits in our house, but we argue sometimes and we are trying to stop that).

Am devastated, he's obviously unhappy and feel I've let him down. He's a lovely kid really but very spirited and we obviously aren't supporting him right, or giving the right boundaries etc.

Codlet Wed 06-Dec-17 06:28:59

Personally I’d say the biggest factor in his behaviour change is likely to be the fact that you’re heavily pregnant. Getting a new sibling is a big deal for a nearly 3yo and it’s very conmon for them to regress behaviourally either before or after the birth. The other factors may be contributing too, but I’d guess that is probably the biggest one.

Obviously you must deal firmly with hitting etc, but make sure you are also kind to him and let him have plenty of time with you.

sureitsgrand Wed 06-Dec-17 06:33:47

Thank you for the reply. Yes, he keeps saying babies are boring and yucky. I will definitely increase our time, he does get alot of cuddles etc but will keep it up and do plenty of stuff together.

sureitsgrand Wed 06-Dec-17 07:42:44

I've hardly slept worrying about it. The staff in day care were very concerned. They insinuated he might not be able to be included if it continues. I just feel so guilty. He never sits still and I'm struggling to entertain him, but I thought in creche he went along with the others and was a bit less giddy really I suppose. No one ever seems to hit him, its always him hitting them.

Codlet Wed 06-Dec-17 08:21:11

Sympathies, OP. My DS went through a hitting phase when he was 2 and I found it so stressful! I couldn’t seem to stop him however hard I tried - and then one day he just stopped. Fingers crossed it will be a short phase for your DS.

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