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What do you do when a child hits your child and the parent isn't around?

(4 Posts)
susan198130 Sun 03-Dec-17 21:25:32

My son went to a party today. There's a boy he's having problems with at school. My son and this boy are only 5. My son is such a kind hearted boy. I don't think he'd ever hit another person. It's just not his nature.

So he went to a party today and this boy was there. My mum took him to this party, and this boy smacked my son on the back 3 times and made my son cry. My mum told this boy off. His mum wasn't at the party. I don't think he had a parent there. What would you do in this situation?

My issue is that if this boy is hitting my son when his nan is there, what the hell is going on at school when there isn't someone watching. My son isn't that talkative. He doesn't tell me much, but these things only bother him for the time that he's hurt. As soon as he's stopped crying, he's fine. He'll play with this boy again, but I literally cannot bear the thought of another child hurting mine. It literally makes my blood boil.

This boy is in his class at school and I've already spoken to his teacher about it, but I think they are "just keeping an eye on it". They are aware of this boy's behaviour. I think my next step is to speak to the head. I know what goes on outside of school isn't necessarily their responsibility, but I won't have my child being hurt. What do you do in that situation?

Kingsclerelass Mon 04-Dec-17 00:20:36

If the school are already keeping an eye on the other child and your son has not complained of anything, all you can do is watch for bruises etc
My Ds is 9 and so far he's come home with the occasional bruise, & I know on at least one occasion he has slapped someone else. I also know that a boy was suspended for hitting my ds. The other mum rang me to apologise but when I asked my ds, he couldn't even remember which arm and there wasn't a mark.
I think you'll have to accept there will be some rough & tumble in the playground. I know when anything has gone too far because Ds goes quiet. Also Ds hates me to fuss.
Try to stay calm, check for marks and take your ds' lead. Get to know the other mums too. Sometimes it can get a better outcome.

susan198130 Mon 04-Dec-17 06:35:19

The thing is, I think this is more than just rough play. I think this boy is a bully. He's always upsetting another one of the boys at school as well. He also made him cry on several occasions at the party, my mum said.

A few weeks back, my son came home from school with a graze down his nose where this boy had pushed him over. All I could get from my son was that this boy did it on purpose, he didn't say sorry and that this boy got told off by one of the teachers.

He's also not very nice when they go into school. This boy is particularly good friends with another one of my son's friends. When my son goes up to them in the morning, I see them sometimes just run away from him, and when my son doesn't go after them, they just run circles around him, almost like they're tormenting him.

I completely understand boys will be boys. I don't have an issue with that. I have 2 sons, they often get a bit rough with each other. They'll both be thoroughly enjoying it until one of them ends up crying because one has got too rough.

I get on well with a lot of the mums at the school, including this boy's mum, although I'm not quite as friendly with her, just because I don't often see her when I'm doing the school runs. We went for dinner a while back and his mum was there, and she was mentioning that the teachers keep telling her about his behaviour, but she kind of implied that while he's at school, his behaviour isn't her problem because he's fine for her. I just don't want this to escalate into something more.

Tilapia Wed 06-Dec-17 06:56:27

I would go back in to the school and tell them about the incident at the party. Say that you totally understand they’re not responsible for the boy’s behaviour outside school, but that having witnessed it, you’re now very worried about what is going on in school and your son getting hurt. Ask them about playground supervision. Also, start making a note of every incident you hear about so that you have a record in case this escalates.

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