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Help me get out of the door without shouting at my kids

(15 Posts)
abc12345 Sun 03-Dec-17 08:53:11

Hello, I need some advice... I have three kids (3/5/8) and I seem to have become a shouty Mum, this is totally out of character for me and I hate it, but it seems the endless, boring, repeating myself seems to short circuit my brain! (Eg “put your socks on please” “have you put your socks on” “ you need to put your socks on it’s time to go” “I asked you to put your socks on” “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I ASKED YOU TO PUT YOUR SOCKS ON!!!!”)

... Leaving the house seems to be a flash point because I can’t use time out type methods because we are against the clock. What do you guys do at this point??

They are not bad kids and I feel awful as soon as I drop them off but I’m just sick of the sound of my own voice. I think it’s amplified because it’s x3

CrmbleBee Sun 03-Dec-17 08:55:53

Reward chart? My mum did one with star stickers and the person who got most at the end of the month got a special prize. Earn minutes of computer or TV time for after school?

FreshHerbs Sun 03-Dec-17 22:38:48

Don't beat yourself up love. Most of us shout in the morning. Early starts and kids don't mix. Getting out of the house in time with the kids is hardest part of the day.
I hold my hands up I've become a shouter too but morning noon and night. I haven't got any patience any more. I'll ask three times to do this, do that, dinners ready etc nobody listens but when I shout I get the response I wanted when I asked the first time. I don't like shouting, but in my house sometimes I just have too.
My children are similar ages 2,5,6.

I also have a reward/star chart system in my household.
For the youngest it's for things like potty training, dressing, brushing teeth etc and for older two it's for achievements at school, cleaning room, chores around the home etc

Kingsclerelass Mon 04-Dec-17 00:30:13

Don't feel bad. You would struggle to find a mum of 3 who hasn't done that at some time. My ds drives me crazy. I lost my rag one day and took him to school in his pjs because he hadn't got dressed after the 10th time of asking. He was horrified because he thought I was going to dump him at the gate. I drove to the school, then back for him to get dressed. He hasn't done it since grin
It won't last but I'm enjoying the temporary pause in hostilities.
Now someone will tell me I'm a bad mother. See, you're lovely compared to me.

Somethingfantastic89 Mon 04-Dec-17 00:46:47

Before you reach the last 5-10 minutes, make sure everything is done by then. I did this by waking them up 10 minutes earlier and with lots of disproportionate praise for every little thing done on time. Within a week things got easier. Also, I found it helps to prepare some things the night before. Don't feel bad, like another poster said, we all shout in the morning grin

RebeccaBunch Fri 08-Dec-17 16:18:39

I wish I knew. I've reached the end of my tether with my lot. We have reached the point where if I ask to do X or Y (you know things they know full well to do in the morning) I get screamed at "I hate you".

Winter Wonderland has been cancelled.

I've decided to take care of myself this weekend and not cook for DC at all. They are 6 & 10 and need to feel what it is like when Mummy doesn't focus on them. I'm not cooking food just to have it rejected by ungrateful children who think it is OK to tell me they hate me because I've asked them to brush their teeth.

They can live on toast and cereal all weekend, which they can make themselves. I have had enough.

RebeccaBunch Fri 08-Dec-17 16:19:55

I only have 2 and I have done everything suggested on here.

Its gone beyond shouting - we are all hugely stressed and dispirited by it.

DoItAgainBob Sat 09-Dec-17 14:49:07

I use reward - if you get dressed, brush teeth, pack school bag up etc and are downstairs waiting to go, you can watchTV/play a computer game etc until we leave.

Any difficulty with turning TV/game off and leaving = no TV etc tomorrow.

starpatch Sun 10-Dec-17 19:20:11

It's a nightmare. I bribe with 10p in flower jar if DS dressed by 8.25 DS gets to buy flowers when he has enough! Does help very slightly.

starpatch Sun 10-Dec-17 19:21:30

And we are sporting a very fine bunch of lilies on kitchen table. I kid you not!

MiaowTheCat Sun 10-Dec-17 20:49:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebeccaBunch Mon 11-Dec-17 12:17:44

there is no way TV is even a possibility for us in the mornings. It never goes on - it doesn't even occur to DC that it would. We do play music sometimes. I find having the radio on just adds to tension - another person shouting at us all, making noise and distraction smile

I got someone to intervene with some "family therapy" twice last week. I think it might be a great move. We've then had a lovely relaxed weekend and this morning was glorious. I drove (unusual for us but the weather is revolting) and we all commented in the car en route how lovely, relaxed, happy and loved we all felt after a smooth stress free happy morning. I feel a billion times better starting my day like this and I know the DC do too.

We are all striving to make our mornings better.

RebeccaBunch Mon 11-Dec-17 12:18:51

"I just need to get mine to finally learn that standing with your nose pretty much touching an inwardly opening door means I can't bloody open the chuffing door. I've been working on this concept for years with them!"

Sitting in middle of floor/doorway to put shoes on, where everyone else is needing to move around doesn't work well grin

Dadofdylan2 Tue 19-Dec-17 09:30:04

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

crazymumofthree Fri 22-Dec-17 10:20:54

I also have three DS the same age, my middle son is the worst, I made him a checklist for the morning eg have breakfast, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed and so on and once he's done each thing he puts a sticker or a tick by it. He's so focused on doing this list he doesn't distract and muck about with the other two and he's actually been ready before me! Mine are also highly competitive so perhaps I would see who could get ready the fastest etc! Ours are allowed the tv once they are dressed and then husband turns this off when he goes to work so they know at this time they need to get coat and shoes etc on ready! Not saying it's 100% effective all the time but things are better than they were!

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