Clingy 18m old(1 Post)
I am stuck in a rut, anyway let me introduce myself. I am a 23yr old Mum to my DS who is nearly 18m. We have always had an amazing bond and we still do now. He has been exclusively breastfed from birth until 13 months, we broke it off comfortably with surprisingly no drama. I felt it was easier to co-sleep with my son due to him waking so much to nurse during the night. Anyway about 3 months ago we moved home into a bigger house so now my son actually has a double bed, in which I have chosen to sleep in there with him. Some would say I’m mad to do this, but it works for us. My DP sleeps in what’s meant to be our bedroom in the loft. DS wakes minimum 4 times a night if he is on his own, so it’s easier for me to be in his room. Even when I’m in the same room and bed with my DS he is so clingy he wants us to be cuddling the whole night and if I turn the other way he will climb over me so that we are facing eachother. Some nights are good, others are terrible and I get 0% sleep. I have tried everything, every sleep routine you can think of. I have begrudgingly paid for a sleep consultant to help us, even this didn’t work. I have been to my local health visitor. There’s nothing I havnt tried.
During the daytime DS is at nursery from 9-12pm which has given us both some much needed space. When he comes home he is extremely clingy and he is like this all the time, I find it difficult to cook our meals because he is stuck to me all the time. When he wakes in the morning for breakfast he has a full blown tantrum if his porridge is taking too long. He has a full blown tantrum when it’s time to change his nappy, even when I take him off the coffee table which he constantly climbs on. My DS finds any excuse to have a tantrum. I totally understand that this age is tough. He is tying to communicate and he can’t, it must be frustrating for him. I’m struggling with the fact that I’m constantly rushing around in order to avoid his next tantrum.
My DP is starting a new career and he is revising and training all day. When he isn’t revising he is out on business. I feel like I’m completely alone most of the time. My DP has a daughter from a previous relationship and she lives with us. She is 13 years old and is no problem at all, she helps me out a lot. My problem is that I never really get help from my DP as he is hardly ever around, I’m grateful he is out working and providing for our family but I find it difficult. I’m the only one who puts up with my DS at bedtime and during his mad tantrums. I feel as if I’m constantly tired and miserable, my family feel the vibe that I give off but I just can’t help it. I know I’m not a bad parent but there are times I feel so rough. I get so impatient with my DS during these difficult phases and sometimes I shout, which makes me feel so guilty and sad. When I get myself stressed out I start to argue with my DP and then I even feel resentment about being a step mum. I never take it out on my step daughter, although we don’t have an amazing bond. We talk but I don’t feel mothering or nurturing towards her. Some evenings it’s just myself, her and my DS at the dinner table and there’s complete silence. She is at that teenager age but I just don’t feel that bond, sometimes all I get is a nod from her or a short reply. I know that bothers my DP but I don’t really know how to force it. I am a young mum and especially to be a stepmum to a teenager!
This thread is so negative, I’m sorry for the rant. I just need to vent to someone.
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