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If I describe my ds, please could you tell me your thoughts?

(4 Posts)
jimijack Tue 28-Nov-17 12:18:21

I am panicking and have overwhelming guilt that I have never talked to anyone about this.
He is now 14 (hence the guilt)

Low birth weight, born at 37 weeks.
Did not sleep a full through until he was 5 and at school. Woke up to 20 times a night every night.
Walked at 10 months and from that day on was pretty much unstoppable.
Was not interested in toys, wanted to be pressing buttons, pulling wires, climbing, pulling things out of cupboards, could easily climb over child gates, sussed out child locks on doors/drawers.
Would never sit and watch a program on tv, films interest lasted a minute or two, then he would be off.
I couldn't trust him in a room alone, still can't. Destructive, constant banging or tapping or making noises, shouting out.
Had to walk him at least twice a day. Would never do things like draw or paint, would flick paintbrush or find an alternative destructive use for pens, paint brushes etc
School complained he wouldn't sit still.
Now fast forward to age 14, he is constantly on report for non completion of work, detentions come thick and fast.
School say he is a nice kid, never rude, never argumentative but takes 20 minutes to get a pen out, does one line with constant prompting, little else.
No interest, he says he finds it hard.

I dare not look this up, frightened of finding that he has a problem.
He is him, iyswim, but has always been very very different to his peers, so bad that I stopped going out with him anywhere for at least a year of his life because the stress was too overwhelming. Friends faces when we went to play just said he was tolerated but not really welcome. So I stopped taking him. I could never just pop in for brew, his behaviour demanded my full attention all the time.
Feeling like I have completely failed him. Should have sought help years ago.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Wed 29-Nov-17 18:58:13

You’ve not failed him but I think you are right to seek help rather than ignore the fact that he’s obviously having some difficulties with his work.

Having said that, I’m not sure how you would go about getting help. Have yiu spoken to his form teacher? How about the GP?

Hopefully, someone will be along soon who is of more help. In the meantime, have a brew 🙂

DoTheFandango Wed 29-Nov-17 19:18:05

Having read your post, my first thought was could this be ADHD?
Obviously this is just from looking at certain factors from the brief outline you gave, but it might be worth investigating. If it was ADHD or something similar then getting the right support in place would be invaluable for your son as he continues through school.
Maybe do a bit of reading around this and if you think it might fit, contact your son's GP.

Obviously this might not fit for your son at all, like I said it was just my first impression from the information you gave smile (also a disclaimer- I work in this field so I am possibly biased to see symptoms of things everywhere and in everyone!)

jaimelannistersgoldenhand Thu 30-Nov-17 06:49:55

I'm just a bystander in the Internet but I'd be looking for help too as he sounds like he could have ADHD or similar. I'd talk to your GP who may refer you to CAMHS for assessment.

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