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Four years old refusing to go to ballet dancing.

(12 Posts)
user1494283706 Sat 25-Nov-17 11:25:57

My four years old refused to go to ballet dancing this morning and said she doesn't want to go back to her class anymore, which came as a total shock as she loves ballet.
She keeps saying: 'it is too harder for me.'

She has been attending ballet sessions for over a year and rehearsed for a show over this term. The show was last weekend; maybe she needs a cooling period.

I have decided to listen to her and to stop her sessions until next term when she starts with a new school. I reached this decision on the base that I studied child development and that I am aware that forcing her into unwanted extra-curricular activities at that age will just put her off for good.

Would you have done the same knowing your child has three remaining sessions to attend and won't be able to say goodbye?

Codlet Sat 25-Nov-17 12:28:04

I would have strongly encouraged her to go if this is the first time she’s said this. Or I would have let her have a week off (maybe she’s tired) but then made her go for the last two weeks. As she’s loved it for over a year it seems a shame to let her give up on a whim!

However if she keeps saying that she doesn’t like it for several weeks in a row then I’d let her give up.

user1494283706 Sat 25-Nov-17 15:25:30

Well. She woke up and came to my bedroom, woke me up and said she doesn't want to go. I tried to persuade her for over two hours but she wouldn't have it.
She said she doesn't want to go to that class. That it is too 'harder' for her. Yet, she said she wanted to go to her gymnastics session held in the afternoon.
I asked her if she still like ballet and she said yes. I asked her if she would go if it was somewhere else and she said yes.
I don't know what is going on but she is not giving up on ballet just on that school.

user1494283706 Sat 25-Nov-17 15:34:18

@poster Codlet I believe you misunderstand me. She is enrolled for ballet dancing with another school. She starts first week of January. ☺ She had three sessions left with her present school. 😊

MiaowTheCat Mon 27-Nov-17 09:54:30

My line with the kids (and I've posted on your other thread about their dancing - and I'm really mildly fucked off with their school and some of the dance mums' behaviour) is that I don't mind them quitting activities - but I will ask them to keep going for a few weeks before they quit just to make sure they're sure about it as it's easier to quit something than to start again.

Having said that - I was waiting desperately for them to get fed up with dancing (see previous comments that I'm really fucked off with some of the stuff that goes on in the school) and the little sods have resolutely stuck it out for a good 2+ years so far! I've reduced down the classes they were taking (mine are the type of kids who want to try and do EVERYTHING) by adding in alternative stuff at the same time - so they've changed to a drama club and karate.

DD1 tends to say she doesn't want to do something (she's 5) but it translates as "there's something good I'm watching on telly right now so this is inconvenient to me" - which is why I do the routine of "I've paid for X weeks of this - I'd like you to use those up and then if you still want to stop we can do that then" because usually the following day the activity she complains she's hated is the best thing ever and she never ever ever wants to give it up.

I do think you're slightly overthinking the ballet though - it's all just flipping skipping around pointing your toes and trying desperately to look remotely graceful at that age wherever you're going for classes. Even the competition kids whose mothers go on like they're the next Darcy Bussell are still basically paying for advanced skipping around looking pretty lessons at that age.

user1494283706 Mon 27-Nov-17 11:35:28

@MiaowTheCat Ballet dancing is not what you imply. It takes ten years for a dancer to be able to showcase proper ballet techniques.
My daughter wants to be a gymnast and so since she was able to walk. Ballet is the basis to gymnastics, acrobatics, dance, etc. It provides the gymnast with balance, core strength, rhythm and discipline. Ballet is an asset to floors and beams routines.
Children who wish to become gymnasts should start Ballet at an early age. Preferably before five years old.
My daughter is not being pushed to anything to please me. What either activity she wants to attend to until she is five years old I will oblige to give her access. After that, we will decide with her gymnastics club, performance Arts school and primary school what is best for her.
Children are only young once. Give them the opportunity to explore as much as possible before they start their curriculum studies.
If she says she wants to attend ballet this weekend they I will bring her to the session.

Increasinglymiddleaged Mon 27-Nov-17 12:37:43

Having said that - I was waiting desperately for them to get fed up with dancing (see previous comments that I'm really fucked off with some of the stuff that goes on in the school) and the little sods have resolutely stuck it out for a good 2+ years so far

Hahaha we're still going after 5 grin

My daughter wants to be a gymnast and so since she was able to walk. Ballet is the basis to gymnastics, acrobatics, dance, etc. It provides the gymnast with balance, core strength, rhythm and discipline. Ballet is an asset to floors and beams routines.

Your daughter is 5, 2 year olds/ children who have just started walking do not want to be gymnasts. I'm also utterly confused by what you are saying, the early ballet dancing is just toe pointing and running around doing wings/ skipping. If they start later they move onto more advanced stuff quicker. There is absolutely no need for anyone to do ballet before they are 5 unless they enjoy it.

user1494283706 Mon 27-Nov-17 13:38:01

@Increasinglymiddleaged
Bla bla bla bla! 😂
Ballet dancing before 5 is about creative dancing and learning terminalogy (points, skipping, side steps, bowing, etc.) alongside understanding tempo and rhythm.
Children before 5 years old and as soon as they can walk can express what they want to become! Just because the government sets average child development age charts doesn't mean some children can't develop faster! 😂

Increasinglymiddleaged Mon 27-Nov-17 14:00:26

hahahaha yes, and I'm sure yours is superadvanced. grin wink

corythatwas Mon 27-Nov-17 21:29:42

Children before 5 years old and as soon as they can walk can express what they want to become!

Yes, but that doesn't mean they are right either about what they have the talent for or what they will want a year later.b

MiaowTheCat Tue 28-Nov-17 06:39:12

My 4 year old wanted to be Robodog from Paw Patrol recently.

cheekstime Thu 30-Nov-17 17:51:01

best love you can give is what you have done, you have listened to her smile x

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