Just that, really. Honestly don’t think I can carry on much longer. Either going to end up hurting him, me, or both of us. Thinking of walking away to ensure safety but have good-as-gold 3yr ok to think of and also I know this would do the family some psychological harm.
I’m a professional with a lot of responsibility etc and would be struck-off if anything gets known about how poorly I’m coping and how pushed-to-the-edge I’m feeling.
Fucking hell, I wish I felt warmer and happier towards him but I’m ground down by the constant opposition, trickiness, defiance, strops and moans. Nothing (and I mean nothing) I do is ever good enough as he is resolutely glass-half-empty. If he wears me down for something and I give it to him he then moans it’s not more. If I offer him a treat he immediately wines for TWO of whatever treat it is. Needs full and constant 1:1 supervision to undertake any simple tasks or personal care (otherwise he doesn’t listen/forgets/starts playing Lego). I’m at the point of having to physically dress/undress/wash/clean his teeth otherwise it takes him 2 hours to do it (and endless cross reminders/threats/sanctions).
I’m hoarse from shouting. I’m on my knees from begging. He’s seen me crying, swearing, and losing my shit- which is an endless source of shame and guilt on my part and makes me even more depressed. It doesn’t help that I have long-term depression & anxiety (which I manage well and take meds for) and my DH has a long-term physical condition which causes him to struggle to cope with family pressures/noise etc.
Sorry to moan. I’m just so exhausted from ‘coping’. No one irl has a clue about any of this (which is good).
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Feel like I’m about to kill stroppy, oppositional, cheeky DS(6). *HELP*
14 replies
RuncibleSp00n · 19/11/2017 10:48
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