Getting 3 year old to listen

[auberginesandcourgettes]

DS is 3.2 and the thing that has become increasingly frustrating in the last couple of months is how difficult it is to get him to listen and do what we say. It's particularly difficult to get him to go to the toilet (when he clearly needs to go), resulting in a few last minute dashes to the toilet and the occasional accident. The other thing is getting him ready for bed and ready for nursery in the morning. He will procrastinate for as long as possible over getting dressed etc. On top of this, nursery say it is important to do as much as possible for themselves (eg. dressing themselves etc) as preparation for starting school.

Is this just a phase that will pass or will he be the same when he is 4/5 years old? Is there anything we can do to listen and speed things up?

[Goldmandra]

It isn't important for a three year old to get themselves dressed because they will need to do it when they start school. There is a huge difference in development between then and now. Getting dressed is a complex task and sometimes it's more important to have a relaxed bedtime or a stress-free morning. It is perfectly reasonable to hand him his clothes in order, help him put them on or prompt him verbally at this age.

You can help with listening by getting down to his level in his eyeline, speaking calmly with very simple language and repeating the instruction with exactly the same words. Give one simple instruction at a time.

Try not to worry about hitting the nursery's targets for them. What matters is that he has the opportunity to do things when he is developmentally ready. Pushing children to do things before they are ready can just erode their self-esteem and make them feel resistant.