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2 year old music/participation issue

(4 Posts)
Celledora Wed 08-Nov-17 14:45:16

My DS has always had an odd reaction at the end of stay and play sessions when everyone has 10 minutes of singing/signing in a circle/on the mat. He would cling to me, seem distressed and try to get away to another part of the room.

I spoke to the HV who didn't think there was much to be concerned about and decided to just try to expose him slowly to more music so he could feel more comfortable/participate in group situations. We have listened to CDs throughout the day and sing songs at bedtime now as well as reading books. DS just turned 2 and does now enjoy music, spontaneously dancing and doing 'actions' to nursery rhymes when we're alone.

We also enrolled him in a small weekly music class. The other children fairly consistently participate well, following the lead of the teacher in simple actions. My DS will join in for a few minutes and then try to dart off to look in a cupboard or stand outside the circle behind the other mums/kids looking at me as if to say 'chase me'...i'm constantly trying to engage him in the activities and keep him on my lap as he tries to wriggle off. It's pretty tiring and pretty embarrassing at times if i'm honest.

The teacher has asked me to take him out when he doesn't want to join in so that it doesn't distract from the class for the other children. I am quite vigilant in 'policing' him in the session but of course will take him out when he won't settle/is about to get noisy and draw attention. This doesn't seem to work as he'd happily just wander around outside (where there are toys in the waiting room).

Today the teacher seemed reluctant to include DS in the activities from the beginning and said at the end that he perhaps thinks of this room as the place he explores/plays hide and seek so i must take him out every time he doesn't follow a task until he realises. I think this will mean missing most of the class and wonder if I should just cancel next term's booking (can't afford to waste the money on something he's not actually doing) but how will he then develop (the whole point of going to the class)?

What would you do? Thank you in advance for any insight/thoughts!

dibbleanddobble Wed 08-Nov-17 17:38:05

My ds wouldn't have joined in a class at 2. They just like to do their own thing at that age!!
I'd be annoyed at a teacher who accepted money to "teach" two year olds then expected them to sit quietly throughout the session.
I'd speak to the teacher and say that she's free to exclude ds from the class but then you'd want your money back:

Two year olds like to explore, if you're policing him to make sure he isn't aggressive or too noisy then I think the problem is hers not yours.

mummy2oneandtwo Sat 11-Nov-17 07:13:51

I really wouldn’t be happy with the teacher.

My 2 year old twins go to rhythm time, and my one boy really struggled at first, he didn’t want to be made to sit in the circle and wanted to explore, he would get really upset if we tried to force him, so would leave the room if he was causing a disruption.

However, we spoke with the class leaders and decided we would let him roam around the room and participate when he wants, it took a few weeks, but he now loves the class and takes part most weeks, he just needed a different approach.

She really should be working with you to make the class a good experience for him, not telling you to remove him.

Tilapia Sat 11-Nov-17 10:08:23

I agree with previous posters - your DS sounds perfectly normal for a 2yo and this teacher doesn’t seem great. Are there any other classes you could take him to that would be a bit more welcoming?

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