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desperate for help with ds6 behaviour

(7 Posts)
freshstudio Tue 07-Nov-17 21:39:38

Ds6 in yr2 has been perfect at school for the last 2 years but since starting in yr2 he's completely changed. He's rude, angry, aggressive, violent, threatens to kill himself a lot. He's incredibly bright but is doing very little academically at the moment because he's constantly on internal exclusions. He hates school and himself.

The SENCO is heavily involved and various referrals have gone off but no one has any idea on why this is suddenly happening. He's fine at home but issues flare up when we talk about school. He's fine at clubs generally and at childminder.

There are loads of strategies in place at school and they work a bit and then he does something even worse.

He's quite a fixed, controlling child who wants to put the most important / most in control child on the room. But that's nothing new, he's always been like that. He has loads of consequences in place and they are all followed through on that he doesn't really seem to care that much.

The school are tiring of him and it's only been half a term and they are talking of full scale exclusions although won't tell me much about what that will mean or what will happen to him. I'm so worried for him I can barely concentrate at work or even eat much. He's the loveliness, funniest and kind boy at home who is loved so much by his family who all thing we are talking about another child.

Help. Anyone??!

freshstudio Tue 07-Nov-17 21:40:43

Sorry - typos.

jannier Tue 07-Nov-17 22:06:32

Has anybody suggested a need for a referral to assess if he has any learning/behavioural needs? 6 seems very young and a it of a cop out to do seclusion let alone exclusion, he may even prefer to be in seclusion so do things to be put there.
How was he in year 1?

freshstudio Tue 07-Nov-17 22:15:20

Thanks for the reply. He definitely doesn't have learning needs, he's way ahead of all his peers. Reading age of a secondary pupil, does maths from yr6 SATS paper so easily, that kind of thing.

There's a general rumble of ASD but generally felt not by most but the referral has gone on - 2 year wait. There's also rumblings about Oppositional defiance, attachment, sensory issues, anxiety - loads of things it could be but no one knows. Nor why it's suddenly happened in the last 9 weeks only.

He was a model child the last 2 years. Loved school, happy every single day and achieved great things and made friends.

freshstudio Tue 07-Nov-17 22:16:23

I think he does like seclusion or at least doesn't see it as a punishment really. It's just another environment to kick off in and feel humiliated in. But that's the school policy, so it happens.

citychick Tue 07-Nov-17 23:50:44

hi OP
how are his friendship groups?
have any of his friends left school? that might be upsetting him.
what sort of personality does the class have? some classes (including that of my ds) have had a bit of a reputation.
if he's really bright have the school made a program for this? such as gifted and talented?
do u think he's bored?
how much have the school done. you say they are tiring of him..he's in year 2.! they've given up already?
they have a duty of care and as we know, every child matters . this may not ne the school for your ds but they will be failing a year 2 pupil if they cant help him in whatever way.
before people rush for an asd diagnosis all other avenues should be looked at.

good luck.

freshstudio Wed 08-Nov-17 06:40:32

Thank you. No one has left his class as far as I'm aware but there's been a few additions over the last 6 months I think.

His friendships are ok. He is a little bit quirky and different and doesn't always relate to others and is also quite controlling but that said when we've had people over or done things with others, he generally fine and behaves well.

His class do have a reputation and there's a lot of big characters who dominate (ds included at the moment but not before) and it's very loud I'm told.

We are constantly told that the work is a challenge for him but I'm not sure if it is. His homework is really easy and he knows his spellings before we've even looked at them together, he writes pages and pages of stories with great grammar and his reading age is of a 12 yr old. I don't think he's bored as such as the topic work interests him but I think it would distract him in the class to be stretched more.

Unfortunately because of his behaviour he's out the class more than he's in so he's not doing much work and not being with his peers as much. They are starting to have a very negative view of him.

He's been there since reception and no problems at all. It's been 9 weeks of ups and downs and now they are talking expulsion if it carries on. They school is good generally, we've been really happy. They are trying to support him but they have their behaviour policy and are sticking to it. There are no other schools near here so he'd have to travel and have no links to home at a new school and I think the problem would just start over again as we don't know why this is happening now.

Thanks for your messages.

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