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Scared for what I might do I'm that wound up by toddler 😔

(6 Posts)
uhoh2016 Tue 07-Nov-17 18:46:06

I'm at the very end of my tether today in fact im clinging on by a finger nail . Ds3 is 2.5 and is very testing to say the least. All normal toddler behaviour but it just seems relentless at the moment.
Constant and I mean constant demands for everything and anything, then once he gets whatever he asks for he no longer wants it and throws it, at which point I take it away for the demands for whatever it is to start again. We've had toys shoes clothes dummy and food all thrown out the trolley whilst shopping today then screams for me to get whatever he's launched. Walking up to a table we're all eating at to swipe his arm across the lot straight onto the floor. Climbing on liberally anything possible. Hitting and biting his siblings. Not eating meals then screaming for snacks which I did not give in to. I do not get a minutes peace from this child. He is in our bedroom too so he's constantly at my side ( he does have a his own bed in our room but refuses to stay In it). It's a nightmare every night getting him to sleep then during the night he wants me to be hugging him or he's kicking me in the face. I do work 3 days a week and that is the only time I'm away from him apart from 3hrs on a Friday when I make sure I go out for a break. Dh is fantastic but he works very long hours and is always taking our older dc to their sports activities. Dc1 has a particularly big commitment that's 4 days a week and is over an hour away which takes up a lot of our (mainly dh) time.
Today has been relentless and I'm ashamed to say I've shouted a lot but I can feel anger rising in me that I'm scared I might hurt him, in fact I probably did hurt him when I dragged him down from the millionth climb of the day. He was un disturbed by my forceful drag of him though And proceeded to carry on climbing. I've had enough sad

Dragongirl10 Tue 07-Nov-17 19:02:36

Sounds like you deserve a medal after the day you describe!

We all feel like throttling them sometimes, but of course we just grit our teeth and walk out into the garden for some deep breaths....its no fun though..

Sounds to me like some tough love is needed, when mine challenged me to the hilt and l felt like you do, l used that annoyance to set some rules and enforce them..it did work for us...

ie l would not accept being hit or hurt, it would mean time out in an empty room for 3 minutes then an apology...every time

Do you want him in your room at this age,? l wouldn't as it gives you no break...you could bite the bullet and put him in his own room to sleep, ( as you are clearly not getting any rest now , you may as well deal with that battle now with the promise of future child free nights!)

I confess l am very dogged and will never give up on enforcing a rule however long it takes!! maybe not for everyone but it meant mine slept 7.30pm till 6am from 18 months, and they were only 16 months apart.

Without my child free evenings l would not have coped so l do feel for you....

Dragongirl10 Tue 07-Nov-17 19:04:43

Oh one other idea that was a lifesaver for a friend of mine...... when hers became exhaustingly difficult, she used to put noise cancelling headphones on with relaxing music playing, so she still see him but could calm down!

uhoh2016 Tue 07-Nov-17 19:12:42

Unfortunately we only have a 2 bed house so there's no room he can go into. He would not go to sleep in a room with his brothers he'd just play and it's not fair to them to not be able to go in their room.

Dragongirl10 Tue 07-Nov-17 20:57:09

Is there any way you could establish a routine of him going to sleep at a reasonable hour in a cot on one side of your room anyway and you and DH creep in later?

When we are away on holiday or staying with friends, we have done this since they were very small, ie done the routine of bath, story and sleep in darkened room at 7ish then we sneak in at 11am....they usually stay asleep fine.

One other option if he is a deep sleeper, is to get him to sleep in your room but in a cot, and later gently carry cot into a corner of living room and you get your room..and peace for a few hours..

Sleep deprivation is truly horrid! hope you find a solution

Phoenix76 Tue 07-Nov-17 23:10:35

Absolutely agree sleep deprivation is horrid! It looks to me like he's seeking attention and he's getting it by playing up. As hard as it is (believe me I know it's hard), ignore the mildly "bad" stuff like turn your back on him, and say "throwing food. No". The bad stuff (hitting/biting) is "time out" and calmly say "you can come out when you're calm, we don't hit people". They tend to mimic your reactions so if you shout, they shout and so on. Get down to his level and calmly say " we don't <enter offence> here". It's really really hard especially trying to function on hardly any sleep and dealing with full on days. I would go ott with good behaviour, he gets good attention then. Good luck it's not easy.

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