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Different Parenting Philosophies

(4 Posts)
almond123 Sat 04-Nov-17 21:28:31

When my child is playing with another friends children, this friends children will take toys from mine and even push my child over. My child doesn't do this to other children and doesn't retaliate eithe.

When this happens my friends philosophy is to either ask her child to give the toy back (note, this an option that the child doesn't have to take) or she trys to distract her child with a new toy in order to give the original one back to my child (to my mind this is almost rewarding her child by offering it something better). When her children push she emphasises to the child that they "have to be gentle". But that's then the end of the subject.

I understand her desire to be a "gentle parent" but this approach is frustrating me. I feel that my child (which is my only real concern) is learning that other children can take her toys or push her around and nothing happens.

(As an aside, I also feel that her children are learning that physical force gets them what they want. But she can raise her children how she wants, its only how they interact with mine that ultimately bothers me).

I know that I need to teach my child to be more assertive and to "stand up" for herself. But I feel that my friends attitude isn't helping. I know that this a talk that we need to have together as parents. Just looking for any other parents similar experiences or thoughts.

purpleme12 Sat 04-Nov-17 23:17:45

I've taught my child to stand up for herself from the off ie if someone pushes her I tell her to say don't push me it's not kind in a bit of an authoritative tone of voice. Obviously if I need to step in I will do but I just think why not start from the off. Won't with with every child, some children find it hard.

Biboundeo Mon 13-Nov-17 22:31:24

How old are the children?

InDubiousBattle Tue 14-Nov-17 15:54:53

Depends on the age of the children.

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