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4 Year old Behaviour Issues

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Mamazoo89 Thu 19-Oct-17 16:30:54

I am writing this thread as my partner is at the end of her with with the behaviour of my 4year old step daughter and I am at a loss on how to cope/help.

Our 4 year old is bright cheerful and loving most of the time. She was a brilliant talker from 2 and a half to 3, conversing well with other children and adults. She is in her second year at nursery and always behaves really well and gets glowing reports from her teachers.
In the last few months it feel she has taken a development Step backwards. She refuses to do follow simple instructions and can not stand to hear the word NO. She will throw a massive tantrum resulting in screaming at the top of her lungs and has broken things when she has been sent to her room.
She has become quite non verbal, grunting or making moaning noises when she is annoyed with her older sister or when she is unhappy with something that is being said to her, when previously she would be able to communicate well when something was annoying her.
She was recently tested for glasses and the whole process was stressful from begining to end, refusing to answer the opticians questions although she was more thab able understand what she as being asked. Sitting with her fingers in her mouth and whinging like she was a baby, not the bright and sociable girl she used to be. She then point blank refused to put any glasses on for them to be measured and had an almighty tantrum that lasted all the way home.
She periodically has "strops" where she ignores me or her mum and just gives a sultry dirty look.
Then to top it when she finally calms down she gives the most insencere "sorry" and says exactly what she needs to, in order to get out of her room/get out of trouble and get what she wants.
My partner split with the kids dad just over a year ago and thing are very amicable, they spend Sunday to Wednesday with him and come home spending Wednesday after school to Sunday afternoon with us.

Sorry for the essay but I just don't know what to do. Anyone out there that can advise or even let me know that this is just standard behaviour for a 4year old would be greatly appreciated. She is just so badly behaved compared to a few months ago I don't know what's wrong.

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