4 year old behaviour is shocking

[Pammy1976]

Hi

I am looking for some help with my 4 year old as I am honestly at my wits end. His behaviour is beyond shocking when out in public and in particular at parties / play dates that it has now got to the stage I dread taking him anywhere and have declined his last 2 party invites.

He has a terrible temper and literally explodes if he does not get his own way or something is not to his liking. For example he was on a play date yesterday and when the other child grab his toy he started chasing him and pulled him by the jumper until the boy fell and banged his head. He then lay on the floor kicking screaming when I asked him to say sorry. As he would not calm down he was put in a room for time out and lay on the floor kicking screaming, damaged the others boys book and was literally going mad that The only choice I had was to taking him home and remove privileges (sweets and iPad).

I have been having on going issues since his younger brother arrived 2 years ago however the anger / outbursts have mainly been at home and I had thought we had made some progress by being consistent and using reward charts.

He is also very over sensitive and has recently started shouting at strangers. For example his bike and his brothers bike accidental bumped into each other and a lady walking past laughed and made a casual joke and he screamed at her that it was not funny.

On a position note the nursery say he is very well behaved when he is in their care and when I have him in 1:1 situations he is generally very good. I try my best to spend 1:1 time every day (sometimes it might just be cuddling in bed and reading books or others times going swimming or to the park) I however work 4 days a week and also have a 2 year old who due to his brothers behaviour gets less attention.

I appreciate I have shared lots of information however I am at my wits end and my gut feeling says they are something deeper wrong. I called the health visitor (who I get zero support from) over a week ago however have still not had a call back.

I feel anyone has dealt with similar issues I works so welcome your advice.

[PumpingRSI]

Hi, my son is very similar. At this point I honestly don't know whether I'm waiting for a diagnosis or if the rage in him will subside and he will grow out of it. Things which have helped:

1. Getting in touch with my local sure start centre as they have nursery nurses and can specialise in behaviour.

1. The book 1,2, 3 Magic - partly to calm his behaviour and give me some control back as well as calming my increasingly frustrated responses. It's helped him to understand when he is pushing me too far.

Good luck, I'm sure we aren't the only ones!