7 Year Old Anxiety at going without Mum

[Grandma05]

Background: my eldest GD is 7.5, oldest of 4 (7,6,4 & new baby).
Dad is not on the scene for over 2 years now but home is settled with nice step father, doing well at school and no other problems.

Whenever they all go off with me for a day trip or sometimes longer...(or frankly anybody else other than me too) she acts out in a big way at the very last minute, even though up to that point she has given every indication of being happy to be going to whatever exciting place/adventure!
She throws tantrums befitting a toddler, hysterics, screaming rages etc...and is very upset indeed.

Last time my daughter had to force her into the car and physically restrained her to get the seatbelt on...and like most kids, by the time we were at the end of the street she was just fine and we had a lovely weekend!

Giving in and letting her have her own way has never been an option ie last time we had a train to catch to the seaside and there simply was no time for lengthy reassurances.
Never having had her own way in this situation I don't know what makes her think anything she does will make a difference to the outcome.

So my question is,.. Is it genuine anxiety or just naughtiness and plain old attention seeking?
Does anybody else have this and how do they handle it?

The other thing is my daughter hastily told her at some point that she could phone her "any" time she wanted, so we have the "I want to phone Mummy" at all kinds of stupid moments and I have simply refused and said she could phone her before bed or in the morning at a decent hour....I feel that such a sweeping statement was a bad idea, and so is saying they can phone at a specific time, I have pre-arranged times with my daughter now but the children do not need to know the specific time as all they will do is pester to know what time it is!

The other children don't make a peep, they are usually so excited, I feel bad for the child..my own daughter used to be a bit "silly" sometimes in these situations when she was little but nothing like this!

[Andro]

Some children really struggle with transitions, it's not necessarily naughtiness or attention seeking it can (and often is) genuine anxiety triggered by the process of transitioning.

Last time my daughter had to force her into the car and physically restrained her to get the seatbelt on.

This ^^ and
Giving in and letting her have her own way has never been an option ie last time we had a train to catch to the seaside and there simply was no time for lengthy reassurances.

This ^^ are not going to helping her perception of transitions, at 7yo she is old enough for this kind of management to be increasing her anxiety about the transition process (assuming anxiety is the root). Every time she is restrained by force, the message is that she has no control and no-one cares how she feels.

Never having had her own way in this situation I don't know what makes her think anything she does will make a difference to the outcome.

Do you really want a child to be so conditioned that she endured her fear in silence? Without a doubt there are better ways for her to communicate what she's feeling, but silent endurance isn't one of them.

Talk to her on her own (you or her mum) and really listen, help her put what she's feeling into words. If this has got worse since her dad left her life, she may be reacting to that. There could be any number of things, but for the switch to flip so quickly in both directions it sounds to be transition related.