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Son is hyper and "aggressive" should I be worried or is this normal child development?

(5 Posts)
Snafu1988 Fri 21-Jul-17 00:29:41

Our kindergarten teacher keeps telling me the behaviour of our son who is going to be five this year is not normal while other do not see anything wrong with him.
My husband and ne get along with him very well and enjoy parenting him. He is always happy and a responsible older brother.

Here is what he does:
Tries to climb everything and jump down, has hurt himself in the past, needed to be treated in hospital
Tussles with other boys (starts out as fun, but often does not end until somebody, often him, cries)
Has a snobby attitude towards other children (which he copied from his Dad, I love this man, but he is so snobby), calls others including his kindergarten teacher "sheeple"
Told one of his teachers to "shut up" because "she had no idea" (about the rules of a game he invented and he tried to make other children follow that rules, which they did not want to)
Uses everything as a "pretend weapon" (including books and dolls), they have a "no toy weapons, no war games" policy in his daycare
Bosses other children around, always wants to be the boss
Rejects activities such as drawing, tells kindergarten teacher drawing was "sissy"
Talks really loud, yells (but his Dad is short of hearing), when they have a rule in the daycare that yelling loudly is not allowed

Is this still normal or is our boy troubled?

ukulelelady Fri 21-Jul-17 21:51:05

Just because your son isn't like the other kids it doesn't make him not normal. I think my son would get on brilliantly with yours. mine displays a lot of similarities with yours, like climbs on/over everything and is bossy but bright and has cool ideas.

Snafu1988 Fri 21-Jul-17 22:16:44

Thanks for your answer smile

Kleinzeit Sat 22-Jul-17 11:37:01

If his teacher is flagging it up as an issue then I would be a bit concerned myself. It may be that he doesn't cope so well in groups and that his behaviour is much better when he is one-to-one with an adult or just one or two other children. It may also be that he finds it harder than usual to play in a group or with certain toys and so he turns everything into a weapon because that's something he understands. Even if he has picked up snobby attitudes from his dad most children can adapt and will realise that there are things it's OK to say at home but not at kindergarten.

Some of his behaviour sounds a bit like my own DS, who has highly intelligent and very sociable and has an autism-spectrum diagnosis. Especially trying to get everyone else to play his invented game and not being able to control his upset when all the other children wouldn't follow his rules. Also my DS didn't understand the difference between talking to children and talking to adults, and he didn't really understand that it's a lot worse to say "shut up" to an adult.

My DS fine in nursery but really hit the buffers when he started school. He became very unhappy and aggressive until he got his diagnosis and some additional support in school - and he's doing just fine as a young adult at university now! So If the teacher is suggesting that your DS gets some assessments done then I'd go along with it, there may not be a problem but if there is then it's better to get any issues sorted out and help in place before he starts formal school.

flowers

Snafu1988 Sat 04-Nov-17 01:09:00

It has been a while...
Thanks for your answer Kleinzeit. How did you get the autism diagnosis? My son is pretty social too. I always thought individuals with autism would be rather shy.
This week my son has been behaving horribly towards his kindergarten teacher. He tried to climb something he was not supposed too and when she told him not to he just told her to „catch him“, later when she talked with him about his behaviour he was pretty disrespectful. He covered his ears with his hands and pretended not to hear her.

Actually I was thinking of going to a child guidance office but family members advices me against it. It is a rural place and my family is somewhat well known and my husband has some mental health issues and I think people already know (or have guessed) and I am deeply afraid of compromising our families reputation, which would have also negative effects for our children of course.

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