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Aggressive behaviour in 11 year old

(3 Posts)
user1499176034 Tue 04-Jul-17 15:20:22

I know tweens have mood swings and the hormones start to kick in but my 11 year old has become unbearable. Unfortunately I think this is my fault for allowing too much time playing the PS4. He recently got GTA 5 for his birthday after months of nagging because that is what all his friends play, but now he has turned into a monster. I dream of the day he can leave home and that is awful. I have loved and cherished him everyday, but now there is no talking to him. He is rude, vile, aggressive and locked me in the bathroom the other day because he could not stand the thought of the PS4 going away for 2 days to be repaired. He threatens to smash things in the house, pack his bags and leave or just kill himself. If I take the PS4 away, I am worried what damage he will do to someone or something. When he has calmed down he becomes very upset and emotional and needs a hug to make him feel better. He has a brother that is 16 months older than him who he now flights with every day so they are always in separate rooms. Where do I start?

user1498582366 Wed 05-Jul-17 05:01:06

I could have written your post myself. In fact, I am at my wits end with my 11 year old daughter, and came on here to post the same question as you! Firstly, know you are definitely not alone. I don't have any helpful advice as I'm struggling myself. My daughter has just started her periods and has turned into an even more of a monster!

Like you, I find myself wanting to hurry the next few years up and then I spend the rest of the time feeling absolutely drowned in guilt for having those thoughts.

My husband is off work for annual leave this week and has had the biggest shock of his life! I think he realises how hard it is for me.

My 5 year old is an absolute angel and I really worry that she will learn bad behaviour from the eldest.

My daughter has had her pocket money stopped, plans of friends around - cancelled, phone and computer taken away and a month of being grounded... all in a couple of days. I don't think I can actually take anything else from her. I have always been quite strict and I really can't understand where I have gone wrong. Every day is a battle and it's horrible. I do spend a lot of time talking to her, giving her back massages whilst putting on relaxing music, I brought a worry box for her to put her worries into. I talk for hours with her and she's so apologetic... then the morning comes and it all starts again! I'm mentally drained, worn out and depressed. Parenting is so hard.

SunnySomer Sat 08-Jul-17 21:43:59

I have just come on this board to browse about exactly the same thing. You're far from alone. My previously lovely son has taken to having complete meltdowns along the lines of toddler tantrums except that he's so much bigger and stronger and louder. He's physically and verbally abusive and really can't control his rages.
I honestly think electronics are at fault in this house, so this evening everything except my phone and the TV are going into hiding. There will most likely be a horrific reaction in the morning, but I've been screamed at too many times.

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