Aspergers?

[Busymummy50]

My 9 year old son uses to be clingy when he was little and afraid to talk to people and was late learning to speak. Once he started full time school, he has become a lot more confident. He has a group of good friends.

Although he has a group of good friends, I do find he is the one least asked to go to friends houses to play and when they need to pair off or group up them he is usually left out (he told me this).

He is very independent and usually would do what he likes and if his friends are playing something he doesn't like, he'd walk off and do something else. If they are playing as a team for example at laser tag, he'd go off and play individually instead of a team. He loves computer games and his friends do too but sometimes like to do other things while he likes computer games just a bit more than them.

So socially he seems to struggle a little. Also I have noticed he doesn't like to make eye contact when talking to people. He does with family and friends, its when friends parents or strangers talk to him, he'd look away and avoid eye contact which I find comes across a little rude.

Occasionally he has made jokes with his friends when they play, saying things like "My nan is dead" then they all laugh and this I do not find funny at all. When I tell him off he does apologise but it worries me that he doesn't seem to understand where not to cross the line with jokes.

He can be very caring when he wants to be but quite often, he doesn't seem to understand how others feels. So for example he could be doing something wrong and when I ask him to stop, he'd continue and wouldn't take any notice that my face looks angry or the tone of my voice sounds angry.

Lastly, he invades personal space a lot. He would take his friends cap off or touch their face, or pretend to pinch them in the tummy.... is this how some boys play?

Are there all signs of aspergers? If it is, I know aspergers has no cure but how can I help him? I really don't want him to be aware I think there's an issue and I don't want to take him to the gp. If he has aspergers I know there is no cure so what ways would a child with aspergers get help to cope with social situations, eye contact, getting on with people and understanding others feelings? I'd like to help him whether it is aspergers or not without having to try and get a diagnosis.

I have been to see an education psychologist (drop in session) and they feel some of the behaviour is quite normal but this was last year when he was 8.

I haven't spoken to school this year but I have done every previous year and no teachers have ever noticed anything different with him compared to other children. But they don't see how he gets on with friends in the playground.

Any advice would be appreciated!

[Snowhite12]

Some of what you describe could be Aspergers or he could be just an independent little boy.

However if it is Aspergers, speaking to professionals about it could really help both you and your son (and obviously if it's not it will put your mind at rest).
Hopefully they won't make it seem like there's an issue. They tend to make all assessments seem like a game. And having worked with a lot of children and adults with Aspergers, they all say that they felt much better once they had a diagnosis. It helped them understand why they behaved in certain ways and gave them coping mechanisms.