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How can I motivate 10yo ds? He loses interest in/self-sabotages everything with any goals

(3 Posts)
TheKitchenWitch Sun 04-Jun-17 13:25:42

He's always been a bit like this - he has no ambition and no drive at all when it comes to working towards anything, but will spend a massive amount of time and effort on things which go nowhere, even if both these cases involve things he likes!

A couple of examples because I can't explain it very well:

- wanted to play guitar, gets guitar and lessons, never ever practices even while claiming to enjoy it and still want to be able to play (has even asked for some sort of extra rock amp thing which I've obviously said no to)

- project at school, can choose any topic he likes, he chooses something he is interested in and knows quite a bit about (Asia), spends the four weeks doing absolutely nothing and making no effort whatsoever until I basically make him do it(he then does very well because he knows loads and actually likes looking stuff up)

On the other hand, at the moment, he is super interested in American history/presidents, and is getting books out the library and looking stuff up, presenting me with facts etc all the time. But I bet if he needed this for something (school or hobby), he'd immediately stop doing it.

He seems to sort of self-sabotage, shows no interest or enjyoment even though I know that it's something he does/did like. It makes no sense to me.
They did their cycling test at school last week. He likes riding his bike, but he didn't practice any of the stuff the police officer said he should, and so while he passed the test he didn't get a certificate for doing well. He just seems totally not bothered, even about stuff he likes.

Does anyone have any ideas at all?

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Sun 04-Jun-17 18:00:30

It's hard to tell over the Internet but a lot of this stuff could be normal behaviour. What's your gut feeling?

Redcliff Sun 04-Jun-17 23:33:52

I think this all sounds totally normal - at least he sounds like my 10 year apart from the getting stuff out of the library regarding his interests which I'm impressed by. I try not to sweat it to much.

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