Is this normal 8 year old boy behaviour?(5 Posts)
I have raised concerns with GP, teacher and school nursing service in the past, but have been completely dismissed. I have no idea if DS's behaviour is normal, but he is so different from his younger sister (5).
He has no instinct to eat. Every meal time, he had to be cajoled into eating, whatever the food is. He eats very slowly and gets bored and impatient. He went to a holiday camp yesterday with a packed lunch. He barely touched it, despite saying he'd been hungry all day. I genuinely don't think he has made the connection between hunger and eating. Surely this is instinctive? (This started at birth, when he refused to suckle - anything - and lost 25% of his body weight in a week)
It seems to be some kind of badge of honour for him not to drink, or wee, and he can hold in poo for day (record being 9, thatveas a fun Christmas). Obviously if he doesn't drink he doesn't wee. He sees this as some kind of superpower. I have to sit with him and supervise him drinking a glass of water to make sure he doesn't dehydrate. This is stressful for both of us. Again, surely this is instinctive? If I ask him to drink a bottle of water during the day, even if I offer rewards - this is no incentive.
He barely sleeps - even if he has been exercising. We'll put him to bed around 8 pm, but he'll crash around his room until gone 11 sometimes. Then he's up at 6 am.
He doesn't make eye contact when speaking to you.
He gets very upset, very easily. He burst into tears and walked out of a Cricket session because someone else picked up his bat (which has his name on). He was angry and upset and raging that "that boy is stupid, he should have seen it had my nane on".
He completely ignores me or DH asking him to do anything - put your shoes on, wash your hands, get dressed, turn off the TV - until we've had to repeat ourselves several times and have ended up shouting at him.
He hums "In the Hall of the Mountain King" incessantly.
He never, ever thinks about the answer to even the most idle of curiosities. E.g, earlier this morning , " Where's Daddy?" - at work where he has been every week day morning for pretty much DS's entire life!
He can not keep track of anything "real" - days of the week, the time day, the whereabouts of any if his stuff. Last night he lost his pyjama top between the bedroom and bathroom. I'd put it on his bed. He had randomly put it in a drawer under his bed.
He is surprised every time I ask him to do something routine - put his washing in the laundry basket, wash his hands before a meal - and does nothing without a fight. He resists everything and seems so angry all the time.
He is very lazy. He used to be into cycle racing - can't be bothered anymore. Doesn't want to go to parkrun. Wants to give up swimming (he's good, but wasn't selected for club gala, and no longer prepared to even out the effort into lessons. Ditto the guitar lessons that he begged for. Getting him to move to do anything is like getting blood out of a stone. He'll moan and moan about walking die to the shops, then run off crazily.
Lives in a sci-fi fantasy world. He walk down the street fighting aliens and will talk at length, in detail, about the minutiae of Star Wars, but couldn't tell you what he had for lunch.
Has no enthusiasm for anything other than Cubs, Lego and Star Wars.
Shows no empathy with other people.
Is completely slapdash about anything he does get his act together to do. Never finishes anything property.
Very critical of, and disparaging to, his younger sister. He makes up random rules about life, school, whatever, to trip her up with.
There is no "grey" in his world, and if he disagrees with something he will argue the finest detail for days.
But - his school work is good, he has a solid group of friends, and he largely stays out of trouble at school, so they have no concerns about him.
I took all of half term off yo spend some time with the DC. I've had a day out with each individually and it's been lovely, but I am at more of a loss than ever about how to handle DS.
Last thing - he appears to have no concept of the real (non sci fi) world. It's 19 degrees and sunny, and he has just got dressed in jogging bottoms and a fleece jumper (several shorts and Ts available to him).
I would say out of what you have written a few things jump out at me as being a little bit unusual, and the combination I think does warrant going back to GP and asking for a referral to a paediatrician....
- There is no "grey" in his world, and if he disagrees with something he will argue the finest detail for days.
- He burst into tears and walked out of a Cricket session because someone else picked up his bat
- He resists everything and seems so angry all the time.
- He doesn't make eye contact when speaking to you.
- Lives in a sci-fi fantasy world. He walk down the street fighting aliens and will talk at length, in detail, about the minutiae of Star Wars.
- He can not keep track of anything "real" - days of the week, the time day, the whereabouts of any if his stuff.
- It's 19 degrees and sunny, and he has just got dressed in jogging bottoms and a fleece jumper (several shorts and Ts available to him).
- He has no instinct to eat
A question from me about the choice of clothing - it is regularly that he will put on extra clothes, or try to wrap himself up at night? Or is it just that he grabbed the easiest / nearest thing that day?
Does he play and chat with his group of friends normally, or does he talk incessantly with them about star wars etc?
Was his speech delayed when younger?
Does he understand sarcasm?
Clothes - usually over dresses for the weather, likes Cub camp blanket on top of his normal duvet
Friends/chat - He'll talk to anyone, and they talk to each other, about whatever the current obsession is - Dr Who, Harry Potter, whatever. But other stuff too. At home, similar, but with a heavier weighting on Start Wars than real word stuff - homework, what he did at school etc
Speech - V slight delay at his 2 yr check, in that he was only saying 10 of the 30 words on the HVs milestone list, but very chatty by 2.3 - memorable for telling his nursery nurse that I was having a baby. I was, DH and I had spoken about it, but we hadn't specifically told DS.
Sarcasm - doesn;t get it at all!
i would insist he is assessed. It sounds like he could br on the autistic spectrum
Join the discussion
Please login first.