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Is this normal? 5 year old

(3 Posts)
catsatonthemat Mon 29-May-17 15:11:52

I have a 5 year old ds. He is gorgeous, funny and fantastic in so many ways. But there are a few things that have been concerning me. DH dismisses me so I don't know if i fret too much or not.

Anyway, he has a sparky temper. He lashes out alot at me and sometimes my DH, his sister and more recently grandparents. He only lashes out when he is being told off or that he can't do something. So he is rarely told off for hitting first, the hitting normally occurs when he is told off iyswim. He gets in such a rage he has recently started doing things like throwing objects, knocking plates onto the floor, pushing chairs over etc.... Again, all as a reaction to being told off or that he can't do something OR if it's a sudden change such as he is drawing a picture and has to stop because we are going out (I always give notice/warnings etc that it'll be time to go). Time out has never worked as he won't stay sat down so I've had to resort to putting him in his room. Rarely will he stay there, he won't go to his room if you tell him, he will just lash out again. So I have to physically carry him.

He is also very clingy. He wants me to carry him up and down stairs. If I go up and he walks half way, he will remember he wants to be carried and flip out until I go back down with him and carry him up (or whatever direction it is). It always has to be me. DH can't do anything or DS goes nuts. It has to be me who straps him into his car seat, it has to be me that goes in at night if he wakes. Despite being capable, he won't get dressed unless I help him.

It's exhausting. I don't know if I need to tough it out with the lashing out and just say no to carrying him up and down stairs etc. He won't open up to me. Never tells me what's wrong or if he feels sick or is hungry etc. So when he is in a lashing out mood I have to guess why (strong link to hunger).

I just feel exhausted by it. I don't even know how to discipline him because every time I even remotely tell him off he starts throwing things off tables or hurting me. He also spits when he is being told off.

But once I have physically jostled him up to his room and get him out again or let him come down in his own time, he is always back to being his gorgeous self. A bit like Jekyll and Hyde.

He puts things in his mouth all the time and chews/sucks on them and I don't know why!

Anyway more a brain dump but I just don't know what to do. I know alot of it is he is so frustrated and I want to make life easier for him and us.

MrsDc7 Thu 01-Jun-17 19:24:49

I don't have the answers but my 5yo DS is being really difficult at the moment too... you're not alone flowers

user1496519620 Sat 03-Jun-17 21:55:55

Hi wow this is like reading my own words, I'm sorry don't have any suggestions for you but had to let you know we are going through this too. my DS is 4 1/2 years old and is exactly the same. Everything you have said is happening for us too. I'm a single parent and find it so difficult. I feel like mostly he just can't get his words/emotion there in time to respond so he flips out. I've tried to just be calm and give him the time he needs to respond and think about why he is so cross or frustrated but it almost seems to make it worse! I'm walking on egg shells and literally dread having to do things which I know will trigger his behaviour. Im so desperate to help him out because I'm worried if we don't figure this out I will find myself with a much bigger boy and equally bigger problems. I've considered a behaviour therapists but don't want to escalate the problem if it's just a phase xx

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