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Tips for dealing with MY anger/frustration?

(8 Posts)
tiredybear Mon 29-May-17 12:36:03

Mum to one LB, just over 2yo...the testing tantrums are well and truly here. I try really hard not to yell at him, but sometimes I get really frustrated, normally when trying to get dinner ready and he's stood at the gate screaming the house down for my attention. It's like a switch gets flipped and I go from calm to mega angry in a second. I remove myself, go to another room and bang things around a bit to calm down. We live in a small flat though. My OH took me to task yesterday and said I was scaring our son. Feel awful.
Any tips on how to not let the anger take over?

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 29-May-17 14:18:30

Not sure on that one sorry tiredy. How long have you been this angry for?

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 29-May-17 14:34:37

Just had a look around and found this for you OP.

You're not the only one either. We all get angry from time to time. Are you looking after yourself? Eating well, seeing friends, getting enough sleep?

tiredybear Mon 29-May-17 22:06:14

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. The link was really useful too.

Am working on fixing the underlying issues..I think. There's been lots of upheaval and lots of sleep deprivation since the LO turned up 2 years ago and I think I'm only just processing it all now. I'm trying to get a bit of 'me' time but it's proving a little difficult!
I just get SO frustrated ...

corythatwas Mon 29-May-17 23:52:03

I used to burst into song, on the principle that I can't sing and shout at the same time. No idea what the neighbours must have thought.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Tue 30-May-17 07:38:55

Do things usually tend to get out of shape when you are preparing dinner?

tiredybear Tue 30-May-17 11:44:58

I like the singing idea! Am definitely gonna try that, thank you.

DH is generally in charge of evening meals (I work 4/7 evenings a week) and so it's rare that I'm alone with DS and having to cook dinner, so I guess it's a real trigger for me as I'm not confident with cooking and DS is not used to me being at home but off in the kitchen away from him at that time. That does seem to be when I get most cross. Need to make sure I plan ahead better and have easier food to hand. Prevention is better than cure and all that!

thatverynightinmaxsroom Wed 31-May-17 23:06:23

I struggle with this too OP. I found that reflecting on my triggers really helped so that I can feel the anger coming and stop it before it comes to the surface. I find deep breathing counting to ten helpful for that.

Also have a mantra. 'Only love today' or 'this is not an emergency' or something like that you can repeat to yourself when you start to get wound up.

You say that it's often during supper prep - so could you have your DS in the kitchen helping you? Or if his help would make it more stressful, set him up with play doh or something at the table before you get started?

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