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Help with 4.5 yo ds

(4 Posts)
Deeplytired Sun 28-May-17 23:17:24

My DS is 4 and his birthday is end of November. He is an only child and is increasingly finding it difficult when he doesn't get his own way. He is not too bad when it happens when us parents stopping him doing whatever, however with his friends it's a different story. When they do something that DS doesn't want to do, or if they interfere (in his view) with what he is doing, he has a complete meltdown with tears streaming down his face accompanied by wailing which can go on for 20 minutes or more. Today was a classic. There were 4 children, all about the same age, and a friend's house. They were going to watch a dvd, however the others didn't want to watch the one my DS wanted, so cue the tears etc. When he gets into one of these tantrums I find it very hard to help him to get out of it.

Is this just a phase? How can I help him learn to accept that he won't always get his own way in the future? I want to try and help him get over this before he starts school if possible. TIA for your help,

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 29-May-17 12:23:01

What did you do when he started crying?

Deeplytired Mon 29-May-17 19:32:36

I did what I always try to do, namely comfort him, dry his eyes and try to explain why getting his own way is not going to happen (for example, because a group of of children wanted to watch a dvd and it needs to be one that they all want to watch etc). I then try to distract him but it's very hard to get him out of his tantrums. Just for for history, when he was two the tantrums went on for ages - 1 hour 20 mins was the record. I admit I do lose patience with him after 10-15 minutes because he just whines and moans and cant/wont listen. He goes into a greater meltdown if I try and remove him from the area, and I really don't want to go down the line of offering a snack/treat to get him out of it. He happily shares his toys and I gather he has no trouble with not getting his way at his preschool. So it must be something my husband and I are getting wrong. Any advice will be gratefully received as I clearly need to try something new.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 29-May-17 20:12:39

I tend to reason but be firm, so I'd say you can watch the film or we can go home and do chores. Have you tried that? I know you say he gets worse if you try to remove him but at the moment he seems to be getting a lot of attention for arguing.

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