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Heihei Sun 28-May-17 19:36:20

Please help if you can. We have a gorgeous Ds who is 3.5, for many reasons, he is our only. When he was born he had suspected reflux and spent his first few months crying a lot and hardly sleeping. I have to admit it hit me hard. I have anxiety and depression anyway, but bad PND Set in.

Dh is a fabulous, supportive and involved parent. We really feel we give ds a stable and loving home. We love ds and we love doing things with him. We try to make sure he gets plenty of exercise (we have a dog and walk her regularly) and take him swimming etc. The house is tidy and he has lots of toys. He gets plenty of love, affection and encouragement. He goes to preschool and to our lovely childminder when we are at work.

Sorry this is so long, I don't want to drip feed. Basically,though, ds is so naughty. He hits and scratches us. If we say no to him, he screams at us and tells us he hates us. We do not shout - ever, and we try to demonstrate love, patience and consistency. We give him time outs and may remove a toy if it's being thrown. We talk to him and he understands why he is being put in time out but seconds later he repeats the behaviour or escalates it. We tried sticker charts to reinforce good behaviour but he kept ripping them up. We feel he doesn't get enough sleep, we try to stick to a routine, but he fights sleep horribly, so is late getting rest then up before 6 am every day. We have tried everything.

Preschool have flagged up some concerns and feel he may possibly have asd. I'm ashamed I never considered it as I am a SENCO. He is very articulate and very concerned about routines but I thought that was just generally a toddler thing. We are exhausted, though, and feel like the worst parents in the world. We want our boy to be happy and enjoy life. Can anyone give us any ideas on how we can do better? Any way we can improve and help ds? Please be as direct as necessary, just any advice is so appreciated.

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