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My partner doesn't want me to contact my Ex

(1 Post)
YodasBudLight Sun 28-May-17 19:25:29

Advice needed...

I'll try and keep this brief.

split from my abusive ex-Girlfriend in 2012, we have three kids, 21, 10, 8.

To cut a long story short, myself and my new partner of 5 years hate my ex due to her involving police constantly and making up lies. She'd even turn up at my partners work with her friends as its a public place, to antagonise my new partner, shes made our lives miserable but i separate this in my head for my kids sake.

I took my ex to court and i have a contact order, She changes access a couple of times a year, not a problem to me as sometimes i have to change access too because of work or holidays and i have to be flexible. All my contact is via email and strictly relates to kids, education or medical. Its very business like. Contact between us is maybe once every 3 months on average.

My Ex lied to the police a few months ago saying that when we drop the kids off we get too close to her house, I'm not sure what instigated this (my ex gets bored and doesn't like that I'm happy), the police said I've done nothing wrong and they know of her as a bit of a fantasist and liar. My ex also emailed me asking to pay half towards my 10yr old daughters school trip and towards school clothes. My partner hit the roof that she would email and 'beg' for money when i pay her maintenance. This email antagonised my partner and she went upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom with my phone to go through it to see if im in constant contact, which I'm not.

Because of this last police complaint now my partner doesn't want me to have any contact with my ex and wanted me to pass messages back with the kids if i need to change access. This is a terrible idea and I've refused to involve the kids.. Now she wants me to appoint a 3rd party.I have to keep communication lines open and clear as advised a few years ago by My solicitor and the police as kids are involved and we need to act like 'adults'. A 3rd party would confuse things and i don't want someone else knowing my business. Appointing a 3rd party could be troublesome. it could antagonise my ex as contact is going well at the moment and it could lead to problems if the 3rd party is out of contact if I'm running late for access and my kids could end up being messed around.

Soooooo, Is it reasonable of my partner to insist that i have no more contact with ex? She talks about it like i enjoy having contact, i really don't but at the moment things are going well so why rock the boat? When we argue about it she turns it round saying 'why do i love contacting my ex so much' I really don't and only contact her if its to do with changing access as we need to have a degree of flexibility.

i appreciate any advice, sorry to waffle on

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