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3.5 year old DD is so irritating!!

(24 Posts)
Peopleplease Sun 21-May-17 13:43:07

I love her obviously but she just never stops and it's so exhausting and irritating.

Stupid sounds and noises, bouncing around, the CONSTANT mummy watch me, watch me mummy. The complete inability to play on her own quietly any more (she used be great, I could set her up with a jigsaw and not hear her, now she Has be in the same room as me and constant 'mummy help I can't do it'

I KNOW it's because I have a new baby, she's 4.5 months but some days I honestly end up crying because I just have no ability to think anymore - it's a constant refrain of mummy mummy mummy.

She does go to pre-school 3 afternoons a week and I honestly feel like I can breath when I get home without her - and then I feel guilty

I do take her to the park and soft play but there are issues with that too as she has huge tantrums when told it's time to leave.

Tell me it will get better!!!

OhCarrieMathison Sun 21-May-17 13:48:50

My almost 3 year old DD is like this and I'm with you on how exhausting it is.
She's my third and this morning I was seriously considering getting steralised as I cant do this stage again.
The only thing keeping me sane is knowing that it does get better. I promise, it does get better.

DoraChance Sun 21-May-17 14:01:34

I hear you OP. My just 4 year old is exactly like this, it drives me insane! I can't hear myself think some days.

MiaowTheCat Mon 22-May-17 13:52:11

When they go quiet you worry as well!

I get "mummy mummy mummy I need tell you something mummy mummy mummy I need tell you all about my holiday" every single bloody morning at the moment (holiday was 2 months ago with grandparents).

Peopleplease Wed 24-May-17 13:08:31

It's just hard. I feel rubbish for trying trying to get housework done and neglecting her but the baby only really lets me get it done in the morning.

InDubiousBattle Wed 24-May-17 15:25:40

My 3.5 year old likes cars. A lot. Some days he will start talking about cars at 6.30am and will still be talking about them when I shut his bedroom door at 7.30 pm. It can be exhausting. The other day he talked throughout his tea and I just found myself saying "baby, will you just give it a rest" I was just so tired with it. My sister says she could just switch off to it with her at this age. Not a skill I've mastered!

Peopleplease Wed 24-May-17 17:02:51

indubious I've tried to introduce the concept of quite time - it's not working! Does your DS require your input or is it just constant talking?? DD likes questions so I have to tune in.

InDubiousBattle Wed 24-May-17 17:49:04

It varies People, sometimes my input is needed, often it's wrong and a lot of the time it's just a cars based stream of consciousness. Like living with a pissed Jack kerouac. Every now and then when he needs me to answer a question he just talks LOUDER.
Ds-"I got yellow digger, going dig up earth... Red car goes fast and goes crash..... Archie got two blue cars but left it at pre school when we tidy up...My favourite is this green one...what your favourite mummy? mummy! MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY!"
Me-" I like your orange camper van"
Ds-" No you don't"

I do feel quite guilty about it as he was quite speech delayed and did really speak at all until he was almost 3. He's rapidly catching up and all of the talking is absolutely amazing.....but dear Lord he can go on!

Misty9 Wed 24-May-17 18:34:26

I can totally empathise op, not that that's much help! My 3yo dd drives me bonkers at least once a day. The constant "mummy, watch me. Mummy!" And noises and humming and... aargh!! The most challenging aspect at the moment though is her completely ignoring any instructions. We were due to go out today and it just didn't happen as she ignored my requests to get ready and carried on doing her own thing. We're both as stubborn as each other...not a good match! grin oh, and her latest is to just scream at the top of her lungs when she's not getting her own way. I can't stand the noise.

Luckily 5yo ds occupies most of her attention but when he's at school...

Misty9 Wed 24-May-17 18:37:09

It does get better with coping with two kids though. After the first year...sorry! With a young baby though I'd do whatever it takes to get me through. TV, easy meals chocolate and wine for me etc.

Peopleplease Wed 24-May-17 20:17:30

misty oh trying to get her to do something is an ordeal in itself. Brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, getting dressed - all accompanied by whinging and moaning!

amysmummy12345 Wed 24-May-17 20:19:26

Gah the whinging!!!!!!! 😓

EllebellyBeeblebrox Wed 24-May-17 20:33:59

I'm at the end of my tether tonight too with my nearly four year old, and my 7 year old. Nobody does a single thing I ask them and ignore me completely in preference of shouting gibberish or screaming until I'm a wailing wreck.
Babe, please can you turn the telly off and head upstairs for bath. "But mummy watch me do this handstand and draw a circle and fart with my armpit and brush my trolls hair and I just want to watch this last bit of paw patrol..."
5mins later.
Darling, telly off please, its bath time.
5mins later.
Is anyone listening to me? Come on you two, upstairs now please.
5minutes later.
Right, upstairs please.now. Do you want a story tonight?
5minutes later.
Go upstairs now.
They continue to ignore me and try to beat the shit out of each other, screeching and whinging the whole time. It's also my fault apparently because the fucking ice cream man didn't come round tonight. We then have exactly the same about getting undressed. Then getting in the bath. Then getting out of the bath. I am a nervous wreck by this time most evenings, particularly when I've had a grim day at work too (NHS!)

Parenting most days is completely beyond me. winepretty sure I'm doing it wrong but I am so utterly shattered I lack the energy to try to change it. I feel your pain op

OhCarrieMathison Wed 24-May-17 20:39:28

Ellebelly this is exactly how I feel.
My nerves are jangled after dealing with mine. Also work for NHS and jump from fry my frying pan to fire between home and work 😩

upwardsandonwards33 Wed 24-May-17 20:40:42

I have told my 4 yo to just shut up. I know- crappy parenting. But it's the early pre 6am wake ups and then constant chatting. I cannot even concentrate on whatever I am doing. I miss her when she goes to sleep and then feel guilty.

Misty9 Wed 24-May-17 20:50:43

I told mine to shut up earlier too. And I have just quit my nhs job! Work sucked everything out of me and left nothing for my family. I usually feel like an empty husk by 7pm and just collapse on the sofa on mn for the evening.

corythatwas Thu 25-May-17 09:28:34

I found the age of 3 the most trying of all because of the whining and clinginess. Teens a comparative piece of cake. Just hang in there, OP: they don't stay 3 forever it just feels like it

Peopleplease Thu 25-May-17 09:37:01

Oh dear god. She's sobbing hysterically because she can't find her otoscope but I've pulled out every otoscope toy she had and it's none of them. So I don't even know what she's looking for - it's purple and you look in it to see docs friends and there's something about keys!? She played with it yesterday apparently so they basically means any time in the last year OR it could have been at pre-school.

She refuses to look herself preferring to shout at me!!

Tinseleverywhere Thu 25-May-17 09:43:25

If you want to feel less guilty about telling them to shut up say "Quiet time now please!" in your best teacher voice. You can pretend it is to help them get ready for school.

Lemonnaise Thu 25-May-17 10:45:10

Oh god OP, that brings back memories. I found age 3-4 really really tough, by far the hardest for me. I promise it does get easier. My DC is 6 now and it's so much easier. She's still a chatterbox and very energetic but the constant "mummy, look at me, play with me" has stopped and she can entertain herself now. Hang on in there.

OpalTree Thu 25-May-17 11:08:16

I remember it well. Especially the mummy mummy mummy stuff trying to get your attention. Only thing i found that worked was having some time once a week where someone else looked after the baby and i took dd out on her own and made a big thing of "mum and X time." Seemed to reassure her a bit and helped the attention seeking behaviour generally.

Outbackshack Thu 25-May-17 11:11:43

Yep almost 4 year old and 7 month old and feel your pain. It is getting better now as 7 month old becomes a bit more independent. But it is the constant questions and mummy mummy that does wear you down. When you add sleep deprivation to the mix it is even harder

upwardsandonwards33 Thu 25-May-17 11:41:28

If you want to feel less guilty about telling them to shut up say "Quiet time now please!" in your best teacher voice. You can pretend it is to help them get ready for school

Will definitely try that. The 'shut up' however usually comes when I am at the end of my tether!

Msqueen33 Thu 25-May-17 11:44:11

My eldest was like this and still is. But on the other side of it I have a non verbal four year old dd. Who would prefer to be on her own and is a bit in her own bubble. So from my side I'd love a child that was interested in being around me. Maybe some encouragement to play alone using a timer?

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