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Behaviour/development

2.5yo lost ability to play independently!

10 replies

naptimecaketime · 15/05/2017 13:04

From about 18mo my DD has been great at independent play and between the ages of 2-2.5 could happy entertain herself for up to 3 hours (obviously I checked on her lots and played with her at other times too).

Since turning 2.5 though, it's like she's completely lost the ability to play on her own! She used to race to her toys in the morning and play happily while I made breakfast and got washed and dressed, but now I have her whining mummy PLAY WITH ME every second! When I go to play with her though, it's like she can't be bothered and wants me to do it, or she's lost her imagination.

There haven't been any changes or upheavals at home, she got all her teeth a while ago and hasn't been ill, she's sleeping fine and isn't clingy at bedtime, eating fine, seems happy in herself...I'm at a loss! I can't get anything done in the house as she wants to play with me all the time but doesn't want to help me with housework/play nearby while I work. We swap her toys out every so often but I'm wondering if she's bored of her toys? I just can't understand how she was so good at entertaining herself now has gone the complete opposite! It's a bit like having a small baby only without all the long sofa snuggles Grin

Did anyone else's DC do this? How long did it last for and how did you get them back to playing independently again?

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sowhatusernameisnttaken · 15/05/2017 17:03

Watching with interest as going through this at the moment. Ds used to play for a good 30 minutes on his own but now the second I leave a room he screams for my attention - it's soo draining..

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naptimecaketime · 15/05/2017 20:07

How old is your DS sowhat ? I agree it's soooo draining! I find it really annoying strange...she used to potter around happily making up and narrating the most imaginative little stories with all her animals and dolls, would sit and do jigsaws or look at books for ages, not any more! Even when I play with her she doesn't seem that imaginative, almost like she's forgotten how to play!

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sowhatusernameisnttaken · 16/05/2017 06:27

Mines just turned 3 x

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Dothbutternoparsnips · 16/05/2017 06:36

Yes yes yes. Unfortunately it doesn't get much better.

I repeat the message over and over again. Sometimes I set an alarm 10 minutes of playtime 10 minutes of me doing jobs etc. (While she whines)

I have friends whose children literally just play with toys and each other. That's my dream.

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solomonsfish85 · 16/05/2017 12:40

My dd is like this. She wants constant playtime with me..I just have her following me around when I try and get things done and feel really guilty when I can't entertain her..it's absolutely draining. There is only so much pretending to drink tea with a silly voice I can do. I feel bad that I'm actually looking forward to her going to nursery in September for 3 mornings a week BlushBlush

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naptimecaketime · 16/05/2017 15:41

Sorry (but kind of glad) to hear it's not just me! What I can't get my head around is the fact that, up until a few weeks ago, she was always quite happy playing by herself, role playing with her cars and dolls etc. I could get all my jobs done easily and without a whinge. Now I can barely scrub my teeth without MUUUUUUUUUUUMMY!!!!!!!!

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MrsPandaBear · 16/05/2017 15:55

My 2.5 year old has never really played independently, I might get 15 minutes if I'm lucky but I usually have to be in the same room. I do jobs he can 'help' with (like changing the beds), do kitchen jobs while he and DD (6.5 months) are eating, or resort to the electronic babysitter to get jobs done. Even then he likes having someone watching TV with him so he can point out the bits he likes. Other jobs we do at the weekend. We try to buy him toys we don't get as bored playing with him with - diggers to play moving bricks around, Brio, jig saws etc. Fortunately he loves having books read to him, so we go to the library regularly. I'm hoping in 6 months time or so he'll start properly playing with DD and it'll get easier!

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JennyWren · 16/05/2017 16:12

This phase can be somewhat wearing!

I tried to look on it as not that they had lost the ability to play alone, but that they're gaining the skill of playing with someone. Instead of being happy in their own bubble they are playing wanting to interact with others as they play. In a playgroup or nursery setting they'd be celebrating it and ticking off a developmental stage, I'm sure. But there they have lots of children to play with. At home they only have Mum... who frankly isn't enthralled to quite the same extent over the fourteenth game of dolly tea party in one afternoon :)

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naptimecaketime · 16/05/2017 16:34

JennyWren I hadn't thought of it like that, but I bet you're right! I have noticed her starting to play with other children rather than ignore/play alongside them. I'll give it a month and if nothing changes then I'll assume it's not a phase and she needs something more than just me.

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naptimecaketime · 09/06/2017 11:01

Just an update if anyone else is going through the same clingy stage, after about 6 weeks of the above behaviour it stopped, almost overnight! So I'm putting it down to 'just a phase' (albeit an extremely tiring and frustrating one!), as DD is now happily entertaining herself again. Toddlers are fascinating, strange creatures....

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