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Being referred for development delay

(9 Posts)
WeeWaspie Thu 11-May-17 22:37:34

So my lovely ds is 15 months. At his 1 year review (which actually took place a 10 months which i feel puts him at a complete disadvantage but that's another story) we failed miserably on the gross motor skills section so had to be reviewed again back in January.
At the January review we'd caught up on the gross motor skills but fell behind in communication, so needed a review again. At the most recent review, if I'm honest with myself there hasn't been any improvement. He doesn't respond to his name, doesn't speak any words (he'll babble), he doesn't point or make gestures I guess what he needs based on his routine and cues, he won't respond to questions etc.
He's had a hearing test but it didn't go so well with the earphones so was pretty inconclusive and we have to go back in 3 months. I think he can hear, well he can definitely hear mickey mouse on tv!
He's at a childminder and he doesn't think there is an issue with him.
We've been referred to the local multiagency group with the peaditricians, SALT etc. I had a good old cry over it.

I'm not sure what I really want from writing this? Reassurance? A good old vent? Has anyone experienced anything similar?

BackforGood Fri 12-May-17 00:14:08

It is always difficult to hear someone tell you that there might be developmental issue with your dc. It's not what you are expecting when you strt planning your family, and doesn't cross most people's radars. However, from the little you have posted, you are clearly aware that he isn't doing things you'd expect "average" 15month olds to be doing, even allowing for the fact they are all different, and develop at their own pace.
All they are dong, is assessing him to see if there is anything long term that is going to need more support, or if there is just a delay, and, once again, looking at what can be put in place to support that delay.
It's perfectly possible they will decide 'nothing to be concerned about' - but you will have been reassured and life carries on as before. Or they will say 'slight delay - try this that and the other, and you will have some pointers as to how to help him catch up a little bit. Or they might do a few more investigations to rule out any underlying conditions. Or they may refer to one specialist or another for further support.
At this stage, no-one knows, hence the MDA to spend time with him.
It may be they find something that is easily overcome - for example you mention possible hearing issues, it may be that an aid, or a grommits operation would resolve the issues, and then , by it being picked up this early, he will not miss out on hearing certain frequency sounds over the next couple of years, and you will be really pleased it was picked up early, rather than him missing all that learning for the next 2 or 3 years.
If ther is a physical issue, then knowing what exercises to do can once again make all the difference. If there is a speech issue, then strategies from the SaLT at this stage can have a massive impact, and so on and so forth.
Try to look at it that way - if there is an issue (or issues) the earlier it is identified, the sooner intervention starts, and the better the impact.

Timetogrowup2016 Fri 12-May-17 07:24:26

My dd is 15 months on the 16th of may .
She doesn't point, no words ( babbles ), no gestures either .
I also guess what she wants all the time .

Daffodils07 Fri 12-May-17 09:33:41

My 16 month old is the same, but hv wasn't concerned at her check.
In fact my 2 year old didn't point,say any words,understand anything at 23 months.
Now a few months months later he is speaking loads, will point and can understand most things.
Children are individuals and will do things when there ready (not when the 1 year check comes around).

I know it's hard but it's a good thing they are checking on him just incase there is something more going on.

mogulfield Fri 12-May-17 09:39:03

My DH had developmental delay, he didn't really speak till he was 3, everyone was concerned. Turns out he was just being lazy! He's absolutely fine now, and has just started a career as an airline pilot- so his motor skills/coordination /spacial awareness are top notch!
I suppose I'm saying don't be unduly concerned at this point if the childminder isn't worried smile

Lottie991 Fri 12-May-17 09:44:52

My son was just like your son, I was really worried he is just coming up to 3 years old and now is actively trying to speak although its not clear I am just so thankful he is more with it now, He was really behind mentally. He responds to everything now and understands me.
Things can change don't worry.
I also highly recommend the PEC method in helping him to communicate my son snowballed mentally when we started that its like someone switched a light on, You can buy pec symbols on ebay.

Raaaaaah Fri 12-May-17 09:47:25

As a mum of a son with a developmental delay I would say that if he did have additional needs it isn't all doom and gloom. He will still be your child with all the characteristics there were before. Our son is just as much of a joy and a pain in the bum wink as his sisters who are developmentally normal.
Be reassured that he is being seen. He is not staggeringly behind and it is no reflection on your parenting. I only say this as I took my son's delay as a personal slight.

ASDismynormality Fri 12-May-17 09:48:03

It's hard to accept but if he does have difficulties early intervention makes a big difference. Many children with developmental delay don't get help this early so he is lucky.

WeeWaspie Sat 13-May-17 08:50:39

Thank you everyone. I am glad for the early intervention, as if there is an issue we can get the support now rather than face the massive fight I know some people go through.
He is such a beautiful boy with such a character on him. He has a stubborn streak a mile wide, a love for cars and balls and couple become a competitive blueberry eater if all else fails.
I suppose every so often a stray thought catches me where I wonder what I did/am doing wrong, just for a few minutes but it's enough to make you question everything

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