Three years olds and Best Friends

[PhoebeJeebies]

My three year old and her friends are lovely to each other most of the time. However, frequently there is talk of 'Best Friends' and more worryingly they have begun telling each other 'You're not my best friend' and excluding each other.

There is no one child saying this and no one child being told this. They are all doing it and recover very quickly and are friends again. However, they are getting upset and I would like to communicate to my daughter that she has to consider other people's feelings.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice. In particular, does anyone know of any children's books that I could read to her to help her understand?

Many thanks

[WineCheeseSleep]

I'd be interested in any advice on this too. I have a DS(4) who has this going on at pre school and I think it upsets him sometimes.

[HJBeans]

The phrase 'you're not my best friend' is used a lot in our house, too. DS is 3.5 and there seems to be a lot of social exploration going on.

[catkind]

Best I can come up with is keep talking to them about it and encouraging empathy. About trying to make sure everyone has someone to play with, and not saying unkind things; and on the other hand, if someone doesn't want to be your friend, just go and find someone else to play with. We talk about it being better to have lots of friends rather than one best friend.

DD had sulky falling out friends at preschool, and was upset about it the first times it happened. Now (reception) it's more being mildly puzzled as to why X isn't her friend today but she'll just say she played with Y and Z instead.

In a way it's a good sign that they're forming friendships and caring about them? DS couldn't have cared less at preschool age as long as he had toys to play with.

[PhoebeJeebies]

Yes, many thanks for your posts. That's some good advice.