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7 yo being too charming

(16 Posts)
PhyllisWig Tue 25-Apr-17 21:55:27

Dd2 is 7. She has a twin sister and is a bright funny girl. She has friends and the teacher is happy with her socially.

She has always been competitive and also quite self contained - much more independent than her sister. She makes friends with random kids everywhere but doesn't have a best friend like her sister does. She hates being told off and apologising for stuff too.

Very recently she's been getting a bit too OTT and cartoonlike - like a charicature of a child. Claiming going to our regular nation trust place was 'the best day of her life', stroking my face and cocking her head to one side to ask if I'm alright for no reason etc. She's being incredibly (and falsely) charming to get her own way too. It's just all a bit weird and feels like she's playing us. She's been a bit clingy and keeps saying she'll miss me too.

I feel awful writing this of course as it feels like I'm worried she's some kind of narcissist. For context dd1 is a massive, whiny drama llama which doesn't worry me at all. However I do clash a lot with dd1 and I do wonder if this is dd2 trying to make up for her sister (who can be startling horrid to me on occasion).

This falseness really does unsettle me though. DH agrees she is being OTT but isn't worried where as I am a bit.

Normal stage of development and I'm being stupid or one thing to watch?

DesignedForLife Wed 26-Apr-17 05:40:06

Sounds like she's copying stuff she's seen on TV or friends. It doesn't sound like anything to be worried about to me

saladsmoothie Wed 26-Apr-17 06:40:16

First thing that sprang to my mind is that she's read something Enid Blyton-ish and is copying it. Exactly the sort of thing I would have done at that age.

CassandraAusten Wed 26-Apr-17 06:45:18

This sounds normal for a 7yo. She's trying out different ways of behaving and testing your reaction. It's similar to fibbing which often starts around this age too.

user1471521456 Wed 26-Apr-17 06:48:20

We call it Peter Perfect syndrome in our house. When one child is playing up, the other one always seems to go out of their way to be super nice and helpful. It's like they are taking an opportunity to make themselves "good child". An extreme version of this?

LapinR0se Wed 26-Apr-17 06:49:20

I used to do this after I read Anne of Green Gables or whatever. Painful

Sleeperandthespindle Wed 26-Apr-17 07:01:20

Definitely what my 7 year old is like after an Enid Blyton binge.

Sleeperandthespindle Wed 26-Apr-17 07:01:49

She's calling me 'Ma' at the moment too.

LapinR0se Wed 26-Apr-17 07:06:51

That'll be from laura ingalls wilder grin

twattymctwatterson Wed 26-Apr-17 07:07:18

She's 7 and you're worried she's a narc based on this? hmm step away from Mumsnet and have a word with yourself

PhyllisWig Wed 26-Apr-17 07:08:49

Thank you all - actually the reading stuff makes perfect sense. She's a real bookworm and has just moved up a gear in terms of comprehension etc. Phew, mind at rest smile

Nutterfly Wed 26-Apr-17 07:11:06

My almost 7yo does this every now and then too. I think a lot of children this age do. They've learned that its easier to get what they want by being charming, and like the good feeling they get if praised for doing something particularly thoughtful or kind. I think it's a normal developmental thing tbh.

befuddledgardener Wed 26-Apr-17 07:12:21

I think the clingyness/face stroking and such either could relate to her Worrying about you and trying to make up for your relationship with your eldest or something has shaken her internally and she's feeling a bit wobbly. Could be bullying or feeling a bit lonely or realising people die. Anything really.

PhyllisWig Wed 26-Apr-17 18:07:29

Thanks again all, including twatty - I'll do just that

Witchend Thu 27-Apr-17 20:25:56

I remember going into "I'm so terribly good" mode when my siblings were playing up. you know, spontaneously doing the washing up or offering cups of tea, I see it in my dc too.

I think it's normal, and I don't think it's so much false as she's playing a part-the part of the dd she thinks you'll like.

befuddledgardener Thu 27-Apr-17 22:24:26

She's probably quite empathic towards how you might feel when clashing with your eldest.

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