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3 year old behaviour battles

(2 Posts)
cattrain Tue 25-Apr-17 13:40:37

Help. Am really struggling with my DD (3.3 yo). Almost overnight she has become incessantly whiney, demanding, obstreperous and aggressive from dawn till dusk. Everything has become a huge battle - eating, toileting, dressing - and she simply will not play on her own, not for a minute. If we go out into the garden, she's at my elbow repeating "mummy, mummy, mummy". I ensure she's set up with an activity, get her playing, tiptoe away but she's immediately hanging off my leg demanding I do something. I have a one year old too, and sometimes I have to attend to things like answering the phone, or sending an email, or just doing a job. I feel like she expects me to be her preschool teacher and that I exist to facilitate her whole day.

If I say no to her, or tell her to wait, she will start swinging at me, throwing toys, kicking. She'll know she needs a poo for example, and it will be hanging out her bum, yet she'll run away and hide under a table. At bath time she'll have to be physically carried into the bath as she'll run away and laugh. I know people will say pick your battles but if I gave in and let her she'd eat nothing, soil her pants, be covered in filth. She seems to enjoy the battles and the tantrums. It's like she's trying to assert some control. She also will repeat the same phrase over and over again "mummy you drank my DRINK" ad nauseam even when the situation has been resolved.

I'm guessing she's having a massive developmental leap isn't she? Or is it a delayed reaction to the one year old? Anyway, I'd appreciate any advice in helping her through it without losing my mind. I can't give much more of myself at the moment, or reason with her (doesn't work). Bribes and incentives don't work either. Everything is a massive struggle and she'll tantrum even when it's something nice like having an ice cream on the beach. I'm a SAHM and I dread the daily battles with her.

She sleeps well, goes to preschool four mornings a week and there's no other major factors at work.

cattrain Tue 25-Apr-17 13:43:13

Oh and we use hands are not for hitting and labelling her emotions, encouraging her to blow her angry feelings away. Lots of positive talking about emotions rather than shaming or shouting. It's just that I can't be doing it a hundred times a day as I'd literally be one to one with her all day.

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