Very active 11 month old - exhausting - any advice?(15 Posts)
My 11 month old is developmentally quite advanced. Physically - he was fully crawling at 4 months and started walking at 7 months - he is now 11 months and a few days old and is running/ jumping/ climbing around. This is all very great but - I am exhausted. He cries and kicks and screams every time I say no and take something off of him - I try and say no sternly - explain why - then take whatever it is away (a wire, something breakable if we're out) and follow this with a distraction. There are a few spots in our home with things that I cannot baby proof any further - plug sockets for example - I have babyproofing covers on but he can get them off. He will run over to play with them looking behind (for me) the whole time. He will then slowly, whilst looking at me, remove the cover and start trying to put his fingers in the sockets. It's as if he knows that he's not supposed to do this. He then has a full on melt down if I take him away from the spot/ try and distract him - he'll push me out of the way and scream and flail about. He won't eat - meal times are similar to the above - he grabs the spoon from me, gritting his teeth in frustration if he can't get it. If it's food for him to feed himself - he'll sometimes put it in his mouth before spitting it or - throw it on the floor shouting "yuck". He is so active and needs to eat - our health visitor blames teething and is happy with his weight as he has been quite slight from birth (and my husband and I are too) however I cannot continue to "battle" with him 3 times a day. I am really struggling to know what to do - and, at the end of this very long message (sorry!) ask, has anyone experienced anything similar? Does anyone have any advice?
I had a very active toddler and I agree it's exhausting! It sounds like you're doing everything right (although no point in explaining why to an 11 month old - just a no is enough). Do you get out with him every day to run off lots of energy? My DS1 is now a sporty, sensible 11yo if that makes you feel any better!
Try not to turn meal times into a battle. If his weight is fine then just give him several kinds of food to choose from and ignore it if it goes on the floor. Easier said than done but honestly, he's more likely to mess around if he gets a reaction from you.
Thanks, CognitiveIllusion - that does make me feel better. I do get out with him everyday but, I am not sure he always has enough freedom when we're out and feel I'm always following him around saying no. Now the weather is getting warmer though, parks could help with this.
I know you're right re: meal times - and it's good to hear it - however, although the health visitor isn't worried, I still am. I see all these chubby babies everywhere and my son just looks so skinny in comparison. Perhaps I'll speak to health visitor again for reassurance so that I can relax a bit more at meal times.
Thanks for your advice
Soft play for an option to burn off a his energy?
My DD (15 months) is hard work at dinner time. I say 'stop' and hold her hand still when she goes to chuck food on the floor and ignore when she spits it out. I don't use a particularly stern tone as when I tried it made her worse- I think she liked the reaction. I give her 20ish mins in the high chair offering her a range of foods then say time to clean up and come down. I try to keep meal times fun and give lots of praise for good eating. It's exhausting but focussing on the good bits tends to be more effective for my DD.
If she doesn't eat well she tends to have a bit more milk and I'll offer more milk feeds to top up. She has night feeds still if she wakes and can't settle back down.
If you've got space you could consider a baby cage? (Sorry, did I say cage? I meant play pen)
The slim build is probably related to how active he is - again, my DS1 was the same, he never really had that chubby toddler look. He's a healthy weight now - still slim but fit and healthy.
BeaveredBadgered - there are a few soft plays near us - I should perhaps go more often. I like the idea of 20 minutes for dinner time - sometime ours drags on and sometimes I feel exhausted sooner and let the baby down. Will try your dinner time tips - thanks! I top up with milk but worry this might encourage him not to eat, so that he doesn't have to bother eating and gets "fed" anyway - have you experienced this at all? Perhaps I am overestimating my baby!
I get what you mean about over relying on milk but I haven't noticed it's a big problem. I tend to follow up with milk shortly after a meal so it's a top up for that meal but she's still hungry for the next meal. If she's teething or ill she'll pretty much only have milk but the Dr said that's a good approach as milk is a full meal nutritionally.
I tend to let her eat the things I know she likes daily and introduce new things occasionally. Staples are bananas, porridge, mango and yoghurt. On a bad day she'll also just chuck this stuff on the floor too but at least I know that if she'd wanted to eat, she would have done.
Have you tried healthy snack playes in front of CBeebies? I know it's frowned upon but I found taking the meal away from the high chair helped lessen the stress.
I do rhis every lunch time - ham or chicken, cheese, cut up veggies ana bread or sweet potato. The fact my DS could help himself while watching telly really helped
I agree about the tv. Worked wonders for us and was the only way we could get ds1 to eat and actually sit still!
He removes the covers?!
I even struggle with that.
You don't need socket covers they are actually more dangerous as can be put in upside down to make the socket live, there's a website that I can't remember the name of that explains it, a quick google should turn it up.
Also read ToddlerCalm great book that sounds like it would help. It has ideas for snack boxes rather than meals, behaviour, sleep, etc.
Agree the socket covers - get rid of them. Agree with food advice too; read "my child wont eat" by Carlos Gonzales and also look at the Ellyn Satter institute and their "division of responsibility" for feeding children - basically, your job is give healthy, tasty food; it's up to them whether they eat it. Don't make mealtimes into battles. If you find it hard to pretend you don't care, distract yourself for the twenty minutes or whatever then move on
Fresh air, loads of exercise, make food fun (it doesn't have to be at the table, you don't have to make massive effort. Apple slices, cheese cibes, breadsticks, ham, cherry tomatoes, rice cakes, ten hula hoops, strawberries and raspberries, banana slices.
Mine's 22. Hoping for a first.
I remember at 6pm my mouth used to ache from answering questions.
Oh, and reading, get him into stories.
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