Appointment with GP to talk over concerns(5 Posts)
We've made an appointment to see our GP to talk over some concerns we have about DS1s behaviour.
He has always been quite a sensitive child and prone to getting extremely upset over minor issues. When he initially started school he would cry, scream and throw tantrums daily. I was not made aware of this until near the end of p1. After the summer holidays and moving into p2 this seemed to improve. He has since moved schools and gone into p3. There were some issues with his behaviour in this regard initially, however the school were very on the ball this time and worked with us in establishing routines that seemed to help calm him down.
Recently his poor behaviour has escalated again, seemingly out of nowhere. I have had a call today from the deputy head letting me know that he had been throwing tantrums in the after school club he attends, and has been hitting and kicking other children. There have also been similar issues in a sports club that he attends locally.
I don't really know what to do any more. We have spoken with him so many times about his behaviour and tried to figure out what is making him act this way. He always promises to behave but it never happens.
There are other little things we've picked up on, possible sensory issues. He hates loud noises and will cover his ears or gets very upset if he's unable to do so.
The biggest trigger that sets him off is losing at anything. He associates losing with being rubbish and it is heavily linked with his self esteem. He used to be like this at home and for example when he lost at a board game I would later hear him sobbing, telling himself he's a failure and an awful person. He would sometimes have outbursts that were somewhat violent, never directed at a person but usually slamming toys or game pieces in a huff.
It breaks my heart to see him so upset and not know the reason why he thinks so poorly of himself. Hence the reason for the appointment with the GP today.
Should I take him with me when school finishes or should we go without him and talk through things with the doctor on our own? I don't want him to think we're implying that something is wrong with him or upset him
Thanks for reading. If there's anyone who's been in a similar situation I'd be glad to hear about your experiences
I would talk to the GP without him first. Then you can be open about your concerns without fear of hurting his feelings.
I was in a kind-of similar situation although my DS's behaviour was worse. Getting upset about losing is not just to do with self esteem, it's also about ability to tolerate frustration and disappointment. The same difficulties can cause children to lash out if things go just a tiny bit wrong. Children often don't have the self control to keep it in. When they're calm they know what they should do but when the red mist descends they don't remember or can't keep it in anyway. It sounds as if it's worth going to the GP to find out if there's some underlying problem that's making it harder for him, or it may just be that he's a bit slow to develop the tolerance and self control he needs.
Thanks for responding.
We did wonder about him just being a little slow to develop as there were concerns about this before he started school. The nursery he was in at the time spoke with me about it and referred him to an educational psychologist. He was observed on several occasions and the report found no issues, and did not recommend deferring his attendance for a year. He is the youngest in his class and I'm starting to wonder whether we should have held him back regardless.
Well we've been to the GP. He agreed that it's a good idea to have DS1 assessed. He's going to send off a referral so it's just a matter of waiting for an appointment now.
It's a relief to have the GP agree that what we've observed is concerning enough for a referral to be made.
I'm glad you're on the path to getting some answers and support for him so he can feel happier.
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