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Terrible twos/sibling jealousy - help!

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QFmum1 Thu 09-Mar-17 09:20:05

My DD is 2yrs 3mths old. We also have a DS who is 7 weeks old. Before DS's arrival DD was an incredible sweet natured, smily, compliant child. Now she is becoming increasingly difficult and to be frank a bit of a horror at times.

Particular pinch points include getting up and dressed in the morning...e.g., this morning DH and I ended up physically restraining her to get her dressed so DH could get her to nursery in time for him to get to work. I feel horrible as a parent for that but honestly there seemed to be no other way. We rarely brush her hair because she gets so upset. Mealtimes are a constant battle (she used to be a great eater); she refuses to sit at the table and/or refuses to eat whatever is put in front of her, even if it us what she asked for. She gets particularly upset when I am alone with DS and her, especially when I'm feeding DS; sometimes she hits me. Generally she is very demanding (want biscuit/park/TV etc) and has an absolute tantrum if we say no. Coping tactics we have tried include the naughty step, ignoring her until she calms down, talking to her rationally about why her behaviour is wrong, and rewards for good behaviour. All to little avail. I'm starting to dread the time I have the two of them on my own, and feel terrible about that. Also feel guilty that DS gets very little attention while all this is going on.

I completely understand that this is a very difficult time for her but just don't know how to manage the situation. Should we accept that this is a difficult phase related to DS arrival, and just be as loving and kind to her as we can (without pandering to her too much though) until she gets more used to the new situation. Or should we take the line that her behaviour is unacceptable and needs to be tackled now and consistently onwards? If so how? How long is this stage likely to last?

Any/all advice gratefully received...I'm at the end of my tether 😞

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